One, two, three, four-sooth!
That's one!
Do you believe in love? Well, Willie Shakespeare had something to say about it. And it goes something like this:
I worked hard to be a star,
Who do these young folks think they are?
If Nicole Kidman can sing,
I can do Shakespeare.
I can see myself standing on a battlement,
Wearing a... conical bra.
Eight muscle men surround me as I descend the stairs,
And play Henry IV.
And when I read the morning news,
And when I read the morning news,
My show will open to... reviews.
I worked hard to be a star,
Who do these young folks think they are?
If Nicole Kidman can sing,
I can do Shakespeare.
Then I'll break new ground - the first white female,
To play... the role of Othello.
I could add a plot point involving an antique shotgun,
And a diamond heist.
Full of co*kneys for effect,
Full of co*kneys for effect,
Just so my husband can direct.
Oh, Guy, will you direct my play for me?
You'll be perfect for the bard-man.
As long as it involves an antique shotgun,
And Vinnie Jones as a hard man.
We'll be laughing all the way to the Banquo...
I could make a book of nudie pictures of myself,
As all the various characters.
Picture Macbeth hitchhiking, with a dagger in one hand,
And his arse in the other.
A documentary, just for truth,
A documentary, just for truth,
And now I have to say "forsooth".
I worked hard to be a star,
(In the background) Forsooth... forsooth... forsooth... forsooth..
Who do these young folks think they are?
Forsooth... forsooth...
If Nicole Kidman can sing,
Forsooth... forsooth... that's eleven.
I can do Shakespeare.
One, two, three, four-sooth...