[Verse 1:]
As I pick up this pen
Allow me to repent
I give my life to God
With the faith that he sent
His Son, to die
Just listen
Why?
Submission
My testimony might make you cry
My parents set sail
From the motherland of Africa
A journey that turns
Some into human traffickers
American dreams..
Life ain't what it seems..
Apartment lease is up
I hate when momma screams..
Daddy always bitter
Beat my bu*t with a belt
Put my head in my pillow
So much pain that I felt
All my teachers concerned
Memories that I burned..
The feeling of belonging
Is one for which I yearned-
Turned into an artist
So I could leave the apartment
Drew myself with a house
And a dog and some pretty orchids
A white Pickett fence
And me picking up the mail
When reality s**s
Imagination doesn't fail
Failing to fit in
Maybe it's cuz of my name
No name brand clothes
Didn't dress the same
As him
Or her
And I
Concur
That I
Was far from cool
More than lame
Just listen
Back when I was eating free lunch
Chocolate milk and gourmet
Food in a tray
Unless I realized the only reason
Why it was free
Was cuz my parents filed for it
And they couldn't pay
Paying attention to kids
With lunch that was packed
In a brown sack
Same families that were stacked
Walking into school
With 5s 10s and 20s
Me collecting quarters
Nickels, dimes, and pennies
Penny for your thoughts
How you think that had me Feelin??
Countless nights wide awake
Staring at the ceiling
Sealing my lips and hiding the hurt
I was concealing
People like to judge
When everything ain't appealing
Peeling back the onion
A layer at a time
I hope you listening
This when I started to rhyme
Around the time my parents
Sent me to a boarding, school
Tryna spit game to all the girls
What a, fool
Started tryna court
A girl named Courtney
I was like eleven
She was bout thirteen
Grew close fast
Talked about our past
Told her I was mad
Cuz I never saw my dad
Out past curfew
I remember the night
Sky full of stars like her eyes
They were bright
She looked at me
I remember it like it was taped
And told me
By her own stepdad she was raped
Her mom didn't believe her
She decided to leave her
Off at this boarding school
As a way to relieve her
Just listen..
Oh
Just listen...
[Verse 2:]
Guess my life could be worse....
Maybe I'm not under a curse..
After that night
Courtney was my first kiss
She believed in God
Showed me my ignorant bliss
One Sunday she said
Let's ride the church bus!
For the first time
I didn't fight it or fuss
Swear I saw the spirit
Descend upon me Foreal
This before the movie
I saw heaven is Foreal
Four real months
No longer living a lie
Wrote Courtney a poem
And realized I
Have a way with words
Adjectives and verbs
Never woulda thought
That I'd be this kinda guy
Then I got some news
Didn't know how to reply
Pops said I had to tell
The boarding school goodbye
As we drove off
Looked at Courtney in the eye
One last glance
We both started to cry
Moved in with my uncle
Up in Village, Greeeeen
Always felt alone
Community was, mean
Immunity was, low
Too sick of life to, go
Anywhere but, home
Anywhere but, home
Cuz home is where yo heart is
I was feeling heartless
Lost touch with my faith..
Wondering where God is.....
Institutional oppression..
Identifying as a n***a
Became my obsession....
And though I tried to fit in...
I WAS ALWAYS LEFT OUT..
Wrote some other girls poems..
I WAS LET DOWN...
Didn't see my own parents...
I WAS ALWAYS STRESSED OUT...
Even hated my appearance...
I WOULD ALWAYS DRESS DOWN...
Middle school adolescence..
Learned a lot of life lessons..
I was dealing with depression..
All my feelings in suppression..
One day I looked at a knife
Like I could paint the kitchen
With my life
Add some dark red
To the kitchen floor
Because if I was dead
They could not ignore
Me anymore
No longer doubt me..
They'd cry for me
And sing about me..
Yeh, they'd sing about me... (x2)
Just listen.. (x3)
[Verse 3:]
Thank God I'm still alive
I had my pen and my pad
I realized that pa**ion is power
And power I had
Finally coming to grips
With the fact that bloods and crips
Fienin' for a meaning
On the corner
And they leaning
On the lean
Seen with promethazine
Keen on keeping magazines
Loaded
Might blow ya top off
For some green
Bloated
Type of life that will make you sick
You better learn how to runaway quick
Or be ready to use that stick
You might die acting tough
As a diamond in the rough
Lessons that I learned
Certifications I earned
On the real
But anyway I didn't slang dope
My life so broken
God was my only hope
Some say I'm fake
When I say I'm saved
Though I make mistakes
I'm not enslaved
So. Let. A Sinner. Live
My. Life. Is Not. A Lie
I. Don't. Have Much. To Give
But. Lord Knows. I Try
This whole EP is my letter to God
Chapter 1 I tell em "All I Know"
Want me as a slave
And never ever on top
But I "BEEN ON IT"
Coming up from below
That's chapter 2
You can do, it all
Unless you "Get Funky"
Til you fall
Chapter 3 not helping me excel
And To my exes this a hard sell...
But I "Wish You Well"
That sums up Chapter 4...
Had to swallow my pride..
Just to open the door-
And walk up into Heavens
Postal office
Leave this letter behind
Why should I be a fake?
When God can read my mind
Yeh
Exploring fine lines
Yeh
And telling my story..
So if you "Just Listen"
You'll know who to give the glory..
[Outro:]
As you walk these fine lines
You'll find
Many will peek your mind
And a**ume you've become blind
Although they question your path
Always bath
Your soul in prayer
Be aware
Demons dare
The brave
To be a slave
But do you
Live and learn..
sh** happens
And bridges burn
Remain in Christ
And never yearn
Be patient
Wait your turn
People will scrutinize
And wish for your demise
Let that be no surprise
Like the sun you will rise
I know your heart is tainted
But that's the beauty of it
You're justified by God
So they don't have to love it
*whisper*
Fine Lines