Alright. b**h! Funky muthaf**in' fresh
Some of that '93 old school sh**, hoe.
Well I'm Too $hort baby, hear what I say
I never do work but I always play
'Cause the game is life & I play the game
So you never talk down on a player's name
When I grab my mic I'm the one man crew
Talkin' 'about me, wouldn't think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would've thought I'd be lookin' down.
On who? On you 'cause I'm so big
Me & my money is all I dig
I'm from the dangerous crew, we ain't no punk
We take 24 tracks, drop the funk on your a**
Beatin' like a dope fiend
Back seat ridin' in a limosine
Tellin' that freak all about me
The creater of greater, s**er MC's
Chillin' out in the oaktown singin' a rap
No MC could rock like that
Now I say it like b**hes say
No MC could rock my way
When I rap it's always great
Wouldn't care if it was like or on a tape
It's me, $hort, the one & only
Spittin' that rap to all my homies
You know about you, you know I'm a star
When I rap too good I might take it too far
Had the whole damn crowd goin' wild
'Cause I don't stop rappin' that's my style
Too $hort baby from east oakland
I got more hoes than I can count on my hand.
You got women? Well I got more.
You don't know? sh**, I'm Playboy $hort
They call me playboy $hort known everywhere
Had a life long dream to be a player
Way too cold at a younger age
It was every day, just make that page
Still playin' the same, still young at the game
Never talk down on a player's name
'Cause I'm big time, paid all my dues
I'm rich & famous & way too cool
People can't f** with the way I'm rhymin'
They say it's too slow but it bought these diamonds
Too $hort baby is the name I use
A '93 lexus is what I cruise
Clean from the start, I thought I was it
I was cadillac slick in the dust I kick
But the caddy got parked 'cause I'm ridin' new
Eastside b**h, so I'm sidin' fool
Money everywhere, all over the flow
At the bank I'm known as Mr. $hort
At the house I be chillin' gettin' some head
Writin' raps all day, even in bed
& them groupy a** b**hes love this sh**
The funk rap master, made to fit
Just her, I'm all in them guts
Homeboy can't f** so I hooked it up
But young women like you with your big round a**es
Blind girls drivin' down the street called love
Chasin' that man, who really can't stand
Seein' your face so now you ran
& you don't realize what you'll soon see
The way makin' love is supposed to be
With a player known as playboy too
Rock a mic & a freak & you'll both be through
Players play women who like to get played
b**hed like you just tryin' to get laid
But I like money & I get paid
I do my duty & say good day
I didn't want to make love, I'm not that fast
What the hell, she's a freak, she even asked
So let's go to my room, after the show
Treat me like a pimp & pay me hoe
You can s** my dick & I might sing
Just love Too $hort, I'm everything
So cool, my name is too
Call it how you want but I won't call you
Ring my phone & you might see
Ringing my phone just won't get me
'Cause I'm hard to find & I get mine
& if I was lookin' for you, I wouldn't be in line
I'd be right on time in the right place
Too $hort baby all in your face
Talkin' 'about mine & what I want
f**in' MC's with the dangerous funk
I'm on my way, to the top
So much rappin' I'll never stop
& all that fame, you might claim
Couldn't stand up by my rap name
You might be good, I don't care
I've been rappin' like this 13 long years
I got more respect then you'll ever get
'Cause I don't stop rappin' & you know that sh**
s**er MC's with your record deal
Most tapes out now couldn't be real
'Cause your tracks ain't sh**, dreamin' 'about hits
But you'll find out Too $hort don't quit
When I grab my mic I'm the one man crew
Talkin' 'about me, wouldn't think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would've thought I'd be lookin' down... [fades out]