[Intro]
Man, if you know me you know this is not some sh** I like to talk about, but I figure, if it can help someone else out maybe it might be a good thing to do. So, I'm going to go in to some stuff that kind of personal. I hope it helps somebody
[Verse 1]
My father was elusive mostly cause he was abusive
Pulling knives out on my mother rageaholic undisputed
Did a tour in Vietnam... had these issues with his mom
And feeling like he wasn't wanted did his way of thinking harm
I guess the things he must have saw really stuck up in to his craw
From my perspective didn't like him thought his heart was black as tar
My mother had to leave him for fear that one day he'd k** us all
Without the money he brought in financially we start to fall
This is a common occurrence the type of disturbance
Of many of my peers back then and did the family such disservice
No form of support... financially or otherwise
Just lots of drama shaping how the world is seen through children's eyes
No correspondence with him heard he moved up to New Jersey
Started preaching for some church... yeah that right you heard me
The next time I saw him it was in the city morgue
Drunk himself to d**h I guess that's just was the path that he was on
[Intermission]
I don't know why you produced 'em if you didn't know how you were going to provide for them. You should be ashamed of yourself. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I don't know if I can restrain myself because this is the number one problem in the black community
[Verse 2]
Guess my resentment denied me any type of contentment
So I grew rowdy and sullen with no sign of repentance
Running the street a lot with lots of other broken kids
Acting like I had no conscious or a single f** to give
Momma was just trying to live and keep a roof over our heads
So lots of times she can't keep track of all the things her sons ever did
So we had brushes with the law for having guns and stealing cars
But never hustled d** because somehow I thought that went too far
After she had left my dad my mother met another man and
And even though he was a good one I just really couldn't stand em
I felt like who the hell are you to tell me what the f** to do
You're not my father as if my father was someone cool
I'm looking back on all that foolishness regretting now
Because my step father loved us that's why he stuck around
And his example's the reason I am the man I am
Him and grandad: the only men that ever gave a damn
[Intermission]
The reason I say that; seventy percent of those children who are without a father, boys in particular, end up in the criminal justice system. Seventy percent of them. And you're contributing to that. You are providing that stereotype that people like to put on black men. They say they be having these babies...
[Verse 3]
I had a baby at the same age that my father was
The mother of my little girl must have ran out of love
'Cause not long after that she felt like that she had to split
And left me standing with betrayal and feelings of abandonment
Yo I was so f**ing pissed and angry thoughts would cloud my mind
And all that hate was corrosive brain felt on fire all the time
Through all of that though I would never walk out on my child
And leave her fatherless to roam this f**ed up planet in the wild
So despite the rage I had to keep the monster caged
Refused to go out like my father did... there is no f**ing way!
And in a weird sort of sense his life inspired me hence
'Cause that example kept me far enough from out the abyss
Left that old grudge behind dead and kept it mostly buried
Because that burden got too heavy for my mind to carry
I just know that if my family's straight I'm gonna win
They'll never say those things about me that I said about him
[Outro]
You're also a big part of your children. If any of them do not succeed in life and are not able to work themselves out of poverty who are having behavioral problems... don't puff your chest out and lift your head up! You should be ashamed, not proud. Standing there trying to feel loud. You should be ashamed. You should feel that you are contributing to the downfall of black people in general. You