I wonder where it started, I guess my dearly departed
Grandfather used to be an alcoholic
And honestly it doesn't even matter what you call it
‘cause liquor's half the reason I be emptying my wallet
Used to say the city's k**ing me, but maybe something's willing me
From within to keep drinking all this mother f**ing henessy
And I'm in party after party, let's all get wasted
Bottle after bottle, f** outta here with your chasers
We drink it straight, to feel the whole weight
‘cause if you've ever had too much sh** on your plate
You would see that my mind's in a pitiful state
So we don't chase drinks ‘cause we're chasing escape
And it might be too late, but still we try
‘cause a party's just a slow form of suicide
But grandfather wasn't partying
That sh** was an addiction that could have did him and Lottie in
And I miss them, that's why I'm still that 9 year old
Who got that call, and eyes got swole, filled with tears and lost control
And I was never quite the same again
But it's not like I was running towards the Jameson
It just found me, so the bottle's our connection
And I don't want to let go but I can feel my liver stressin' like
I've been drinking too much
Drinking, drinking too much
I've been drinking too much
Drinking, drinking too much
I've drinking too much
Drinking, drinking too much
I've been drinking too much
But too much just ain't enough
I keep on running like I'm tryna catch tomorrow
Like I'm terrified my future's at the bottom of a bottle
So please save me, I'm still that little boy, see
I'm drowning, in the drinks you'll never pour me
They say blame it on the liquor, well I ain't ignorant n***a
It ain't just my grandad, I'm chasing when times were simpler
Back before the blogs ever had a take on my songs
And way before my family had to scrape to keep the lights on
The pressure's constricting just like a python
And I'll never be a diamond, so one more push and this pipe's gone
Of course I'm gonna sink, gonna buy another drink
Til I f**ing black out ‘cause I don't really want to think
And I know that sh** is wrong but I drink it til it's gone
‘cause it's hard to put it down when you know you're all alone
So I write a little note that's addressed to my friends
To apologize for the drunk texts that I send
‘cause I know that they're real but I swear they pretend
And secretly, silently pray for my end
And it may just come, but if Harvey kicked it and skipped his son
Then I've already seen this battle won
And though I know I'm not close to done with liquor
I'm at least starting to listen to my liver, like