You're lighting pencils on fire and trying to stickem in the rug And Joey said he caught you drinking Janitor in a Drum Then you tied up the mailman and took him to the vet If I didn't know you better, I'd say that you were upset Now Peggy called me crying after you whipped her with a sponge I came over to find you naked in a bed of egg foo young You said "Get back in the shoebox my little turtle pet" If I didn't know you better, I'd say that you were upset Don't turn on the oven and put your head inside
It's not really as bad as it seems Whatever's happened, whatever's not right Will someday disappear just like a bad dream Now your scalp's a little bloody and the bathtub's full of hair When you go off the deepend you sure do it with a flair I see you turning catatonic on the balcony up there Then you put on a headdress as you bounce down the stairs Saying "I'm gonna give you something you never will forget" If I didn't know you better, I'd say that you were upset