When Raymond comes around
We fetch the china down
'Cos Ray brings sunshine everyday
And makes the raindrops drain away
When Raymond comes around
He's got a Gucci jacket
He's got a hitlist smile
He's got a rent-book racket
Come across or lose your first born child
When Raymond comes around
We nail the table down
'Cos if it ain't a happy day
It's toast and beans the doggie way
When Raymond comes around
He's got Jimmy Cagney's swagger
But with Jimmy Saville's eyes
They say he keeps a rusty dagger
Underneath of his Versace flies
When Raymond comes around
Everybody goes to ground
Though you might have the means to pay
He still likes some the dirty way
When Raymond comes around
When Raymond comes around
He holds out his hand like a loaded gun
You shake it and make like you're scared of the c*nt
When Raymond comes around
We pull the shutters down
And tie him up with skipping rope
And burn his car and slit his throat
When Raymond comes around