What happens when the pitcher's gotta go
And everyone's expecting him to make a throw?
He can't just let a little gas out on the mound
'Cause too much might come out and then his pants would turn brown
Then everyone would know that the pitcher had to go
And that he went
That's why, you see, sometimes in a game
A pitcher's dominatin', then you see somethin' change
Lots of wild pitchers, lots of hit batters
Lettin' the poop come out becomes the only thing that matters
The manager comes out, the pitcher hands him the ball
And then he run, run, runs to the nearest toilet stall
I find it surprising in the world of sports
That we've never seen a player just a-soilin' his shorts
With so many cameras on the field
You'd think one time that would be revealed
But I guess they're pros and they just know
How to squeeze their cheeks until they're done with the show