She's the slickest chick I've ever known
I take her with me wherever I go to rope in all my fears
And open all my beers and to never ever leave me alone
She's tiny, shiny and bright, almost too sharp but not quite
She does it all somehow
She's in my pocket now but I'm gonna take her out tonight
She's my Swiss army girlfriend
She's holding up her end, and she's all mine
So I got a Valentine to send
Do I have to draw a diagram?
When I'm out of luck or in a jam
She can get me hot and out of tight spots
And she's ready whenever I am
She slices, dices and more
She can handle any household chore
And I love the feel of her stainless steel
When we're rolling all around on the floor
She's my Swiss army girlfriend
She's in my dresser drawer
And I'm all hers
And we've got a universe to explore
And I love her so, though she may never know
Just how low I would go
To keep her by my side
And open wide for when our worlds collide
She's the only game in town
She's a thriller that you can't put down
So enjoy this song because before too long
We're gonna run each other into the ground
She's my Swiss army girlfriend
We've barely started yet
But we're all set
And we've got a ba**inet to get