Packing up the PA at the end of the night,
Everybody's knackered and they're covered in s***e,
We've played to Southern poofters, Jocks and Druids,
And showered each other with bodily fluids.
Blood sweat and beer, fanny batter and piss
We're going to the services on the M6.
Grease stop. grease stop: bacon and eggs,
Sausage and beans and a pile of fried bread,
Grease stop. grease stop: who'll eat the most?
Ben Nevis has pissed on Slippery's toast,
Costs a f***ing packet, but don't you knock it,
Stez hid an egg in his inside pocket.
I've got a pickled liver, I don't give a s***,
More tar on my lungs than the A56,
Spots on my face from too many chips,
No woman would give me the crust off her clit.
Blood sweat and beer, snot phlem and crap,
It's only twenty miles to Watford Gap.
Grease stop. grease stop: piles of fried bread,
Muttley got hit by a low-flying egg,
Grease stop. grease stop: who'll eat the most?
Slippery pissed on Ben Nevis's toast,
Costs a f***ing packet, but don't you knock it,
Stez hid his beans in McCavity's pocket.
Beater! Tell em you paki.
Blood sweat and beer, beer sweat and blood,
It's only seven miles to Michael Wood.
Grease stop. grease stop: bring your own ale,
Black puddings are off, the bread buns are stale,
Grease stop. grease stop: who'll eat the most?
McCavity's pissed on McCavity's toast,
Grease stop. grease stop: bacon and egg,
Sausage and beans and a pile of fried bread,
Grease stop. grease stop: soup down your leg,
Beans down your teeshirt, pie on your head,
Grease stop. grease stop: bring your own ale,
Black puddings are off, the bread buns are stale,
Grease stop. grease stop: who'll eat the most?
Ben Nevis has pissed on Muttley's toast.