I was brushing my teeth when the power went down.
You kow, you can't be prepared for that.
That electric toothbrush just ceased functioning and I didn't have a clue.
I tried a manual spin in my mouth, but hell, it was early.
And my fingers just weren't fast enough
I grabbed the soap - both hands.
Bit it as if it was a burger.
But it was disgusting and pointless as the essence of last night's excesses were still there.
Decided on a strong coffee to disguise that lingering taste.
But of course the coffee machine was dead.
But sure, I felt kind of pathetic, but I decided to call the housekeeper on my mobile. As I had no idea of how to change a fuse
The phone said: "Battery empty, please recharge".
Great!
It was time to get the hell out of this apartment I punched in the exit code.
Five, six, seven times. Nothing happened.
I pounded - Just pounded on that reinforced, heavily-padded, soundproofed Front door of mine.
And wondered if it was just me.
Of course it was just me!
I found out at around 9pm that I wasn't alone when the first light went off in the great gla** tower across the divide
9pm - Monday night.
Normally the time to switch off that computer
Order in Malay Kofta, samosas, a carton of wine.
Put the feet up. Read a book.
I know you're laughing.
But I still firmly believe that technology isn't everything.
Instead, I found myself stumbling around on borrowed illumination.
I found half a packet of crackers left by my last girlfriend a few weeks ago.
And ate them - slowly.
Then I just curled up on the couch.
And of course I slept badly.
Now I mark the days.
Much like a castaway on a raft on the open sea.
Little blue lines on the wall with that antique ball-point pen
But it's drying out now.
But I've given up the shouting.
I've given up the pummeling because it's pointless.
I've tried to establish a routine.
I even tidied up the place with my bare hands.
But it's not gonna be long now
The last thing I did before the power failed was to command the bank to make all of my regular payments automatically. On an appointed date.
You see, I didn't want them to come looking for me.
I'm reasonably wealthy. I will not be saved by the bill.
I really hope you appreciate the humour I'm showing at this rather inappropriate moment.
Lately, I've been wondering if any of my networking friends and acquaintances miss me.
Frankly, I doubt it.
Sure, I'm decent company.
I spin the odd, inspired one-liner.
I'm amusing, but face it - Hardly essential.
And I know what you're thinking.
It looks bad, doesn't it?
But you don't have to worry.
Understand that I have accepted my fate.
None of us - not even you - will go on forever.
And well, look - I have a shelf packed with books.