Mh, hi mom, happy thanksgiving
Oh hi honey I'm so glad you're here
Thanks so much for having us over
Mom, um, this my boyfriend
Hi nice to meet you
Hi it's nice to finally meet you
I've heard so much about you
Hey babe help mom with the turkey
I'm going to say hi to the rest of the family
Oh I'd love a little help
Are you good with a baster?
You know my mom always said I was quite the master baster
Oh really? So tell me a little more about yourself then
I'm just a really good rapper
That's kind of all I do
And I just want to thank you for inviting me over with your family today
And I really want to say...
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
My drumstick: give it all our love quick
Stuffed like a turkey baster like a dyke chick
Go on girl give it that lick lick
Stick it in like you're ice and it's an icepick
Metaphor: weak, but I won't lose sleep
Covering her yams with the coating of that skeet skeet
She swears it's dark but I swear that it's white meat
She practices on corn like it's p**n and she's Ginger Lee
And I'm Mark Weiner, you should've seen her
Tweeting to her friends twit pics of her turkey dinner
I'm a winner so they call me Charlie Sheen
Because I'm a size two and half them s** them clean
With that liquid c**aine yeah that white goo
All over her face like it's motherf**ing bird poop
And she's a windshield
And I'm a windmill
Catch it her eyes she call's me Holden Caulfield
Then I say
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Pretty lady
You want some gravy?
Open up I know just what you've craving
That cranberry sauce from a boss
"Oh jesus!" she exclaims because I'm hung like a cross
It doesn't make sense, strictly speaking
But she's queefing while the family's eating in the other room
I got her busy teething she takes it family style all she can eat
So thick and chunky s**m swimming all in her teeth
Then she says grace, yeah she gives thanks
Her kids come in she tells them that it's just face paints
Yeah, face paints
But you can't play
Go on in with daddy, watch the Saint's game
I'm getting tired too
Her lips are tryptophan
I got one more in me
I feel my pants expand
We make the pumpkin pie
She's out of whipped cream
Dessert's gotta be perfect so of course I scream
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
Happy thanksgiving, now s** my dick
All the pilgrims: s** my dick
All the Indians: s** my dick
All the pilgrims: s** my dick
All the Indians: s** my dick
Pocahontas: s** my dick
John Smith: s**..
Pocahontas: s** my dick
John Smith: umm
Merry f**ing Christmas now lick my balls
Merry f**ing Christmas now lick on my balls
Merry f**ing Christmas now lick my balls
Merry f**ing Christmas now lick on my balls
Yo it's New Years, taste the taint
Yo it's New Years, taste the taint
Yo it's New Years, taste the taint
Yo it's New Years, taste the taint
It's the holidays
s** everything, b**h!
Ho ho ho
Happy motherf**ing holidays