'twere back in the year of 1986
I courted a maid from the wild wild west
She took I to a place where Cider's always ace
Return to Turbo Island
We'll raise the main sail
And we'll battle the gale
We're all going to hell
As we return to Turbo Island
Our ship, oh she be, a-rockin' on the sea
Our bosun be a-prayin' to the lord
My babby makes a plea, oh won't you marry me
As we return to Turbo Island
You won't find Turbo Island on any kind of a map
They said once thee's left that place there's no way to go back
We searched 'round Stoke's Croft Point, and off the old bear pit
And now that we've found the place, we'll drink like lunatics