Joe: Porritt got his bollucks whacked in Pe
He was holding them all the way through Dt
Porritt has no mates and is a c*nt
That is why he is called a runt
Porridge never comes out to play
Porritt stays at home, scared to look away
Porridge is always getting older
And soon his hair will get much, much balder
Rob: We have always hated Tom and called him a b**h
Everytime he walks on to the pitch, He will ripped apart by Marcus Coombs
He wears size 4 shoes like a runt
And will always lose in Wembo like a big c*nt
Watto: Tom Porritt
Wealdstone raider: You've got no fans, You've got no fans
Randy: Porritt, the runt, won't last the whole winter
I liked Hamish's mum, so I shagged her
All Tom wants to do is play some Football
Even tho he can do f** all
When he's angry, fellow runts he will summon
He knows he will never have s** with a women
However Dom dosen't care anyway
For the rest of his life he wants to be gay
Tom: There is a group in Doveridge called The Runts
They are c*nts
They sit there all day waiting to be helped
But no, that's the lift a runt
A little c*nt
Alan Partridge: Oh well this is great banter, it really is
Matty: He comes on the pitch
Asking for a**istance
Contributing nothing
And offering runty little resistance
Communicating in grunts
And high pitch squeals
That make you want to puke up your meals
He is about 3 foot 5 tall
And is weak and loses every brawl
Toms a runt and although he won't admit it
Porridge really is a little sh**
Ben: A runt like Porritt has no friends
And will continue to until his life ends
A runt will get beaten up everyday
And isn't worth any of my first aid
Porridge is always scared and will always hide
Don't expect him to put up a fight
George: The puney runts are ropey
And act hard, like a stokie
The runty ropey breeders
Scurry off to the artroom
Getting runted off the ball
By the bigguns, that are far more tall
Howard: I know a runt
Who acts like a c*nt
His name is Tom Porritt
And he's the size of a Hobbitt
And there he is the little f**er
Sitting down and eating pucka... pies
With the intention and contention
To be bigger and stronger and higher
Not smaller
As a birthday treat his mrs let him stick it up who counthole
It did not work so tried to put it in the mouthhole
She cried a blead but Porritt laughed
And said no more, I'll slap a who*e
And go home with the back door behind my a** hole
Phillipa: What do you want in your sandwiches
Rob Bradley: Porrrrrrrrriiiiiittttttttttttttt
Phillipa: Porritt joined us for a 3 hour sandwich
Phillipa: Daddy Porritt hurt me
Rob Bradley: Porrrrriiiiittttttt I said poooooorrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiitttttt
O.T Genesis: I'm in love with the...
Reado: Runt