I've been on an adventure, a time travel mystery
I've been searching and searching through the pages of history
I went to the bunkers of a thousand war-mongers
I saw Flanders Fields turn into Hades
I walked through the minds of the k**ers among us
And all I kept thinking was "Where are the ladies?"
I've been where they dreamed up the final solution
I went to the place where they made up religion
And used it to justify ma** execution
The women must all have been locked in the kitchen
Hard luck brother, if you're looking to pick up
In the war rooms of Israel, Hussein or Gaddafi
If you're looking for chicks you might as well give up
In the dens of Bin Laden, Ceauşescu, Mugabe
No chicks at the place where we turned on each other
The trials of McCarthy, The communist menace
No chicks led the charge on the beach at Cronulla
Or chanted like apes and threw chairs at the tennis
No chicks writing books called "The Art of War"
No chicks using science to dream up new weapons
Like penis shaped bombs and big cannon balls
The battle of little big horn, What do you reckon?
Hummas, it aint run by Mammas
No Prada Meinhoff, No Tamil Tigress,
Hezbollah, more like His-bollah
The Unabomber isn't Unis**
What do you notice about the follies of history?
What are the last three letters of Tienanmen?
Women aren't stupid, they nurture humanity
The only thing wrong with women is their men
Women could lead us to an earthly heaven
Instead they go fall for some dickhead in pants
So were all doomed to man-made Armageddon
But look on the bright side; I'm in with a chance