Well the snow ain't falling down
Nobody bundled head to feet
There's no children sledding snowball frickin' fighting in the street
There ain't no Christmas carolers singing jolly winter songs
It's just spray-tanned people out sunbathing in their thongs
Nobody with chestnut roasting
No snowmen being made
You can pray for some hot cocoa; all you'll get is lemonade
There ain't no snowflakes falling cuz it's 85 degrees
When it drops way down to 70, people think they're gonna freeze
And you're sweating half to d**h as you hang lights in the palm trees
It's Christmas Time in California
Put on your sunscreen
Christmas Time in California
Toasty, warm and green
Take a sleighride to the beach
Do snow angels in the sand
Cuz it's Christmas Time in California
You decorate your lawn with surfin' Santas made of lights
You put the fake snow on the rooftop and scratch mosquito bites
You cruise in your convertible; drive thru the taco bell
The lot next door has million-dollar Christmas trees to sell
And you buy a dried-up douglas fir and wonder "What the hell?"
It's Christmas Time in California
Put on your sunscreen
Christmas Time in California
Toasty, warm and green
Take a sleigh ride to the beach
Do snow angels in the sand
Cuz it's Christmas Time in California
I don't wanna mow the lawn right now; I wanna shovel snow
I don't wanna any more damn sunshine; I want 29 below
I don't wanna wear a tanktop cuz my snow suit can't be beat!
I don't want these stupid flip flops; I want moon boots on my feet
I don't wanna go out swimming; I'd rather be on skis
I don't wanna be all toasty warm; I'd rather frickin freeze
And if I spend another minute on the stupid 405
I will drive my damn car off a cliff and burn my a** alive
Maybe I should move away, but the rest of the year is pretty okay
So I'll suffer through another holiday
It's Christmas Time in California
Put on your sunscreen
Christmas Time in California
Toasty, warm and green
Take a sleighride to the beach
Do snow angels in the sand
Cuz it's Christmas Time in California