And if you are addicted to sleep, a bay of fresh coffee may help.
If you are addicted to coffee, teach yourself to breakdance.
If you are addicted to dancing, polio will cure you.
If you hear that the last black man alive will be burned at sunset, find an underground railroad.
If you are addicted to railroads, try wearing undersized shoes.
No one knows where your mother has gone with her tax refund.
If you are addicted to shoes, move to a provincial village in Japan.
If you are addicted to Japan, try eating with no teeth.
If you are addicted to teeth, visit the wife beater's widow;
she will be upstairs awaiting your caress.
I often wake up horny. If you are addicted to masturbation, seek company.
If you are addicted to company, try starlight and silence.
If you are addicted to silence, find guard dogs, traffic, or infants.
If you are addicted to infants, try reliable contraception.
Or try asking yourself: What's wrong with me?
If you are addicted to contraception, try recklessness.
Try riding an unsaddled horse until you are thrown into a bed of gravel.
If you are addicted to recklessness, try a spoon-fed disease.
My mother loves imagining the day she'll die.
If you are addicted to disease, visit an Old World doctor.
If you are addicted to doctors, try war.
If you are addicted to sorrow, all my talk about loss is not loss to you.
No one knows why you father built a shed for his weapons.
Probably some hellified form of addiction.
If you are addicted to weapons, please find the people who plan to burn
the last black man alive at sunset for me.
Or try learning a little history.
Obviously, I'm addicted to repetition. Which is a form for history.
If you are addicted to history, try a blindfold of razors or buy a Cadillac.
If you are addicted to Cadillacs, try poverty.
No one is addicted to poverty, but if you are, try wealth.
If you are addicted to wealth, you'll need money.
If you are addicted to money, you'll need money. Try that.