A customer?
Wait! What's your rush?
What's your hurry?
You gave me such a fright
I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can't you sit?
Sit you down. Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague
What was that?
But you'd think we had the plague!
From the way that people keep avoiding
No, you don't.
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know, I make them
But good? No!
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite
The worst pies in London
If you doubt it, take a bite
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting
Here, drink this, you'll need it
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat what it is
When you get it
Never thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor animals
What are dying in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does her business, but I noticed something weird
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her
What I calls enterprise
Popping pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you them p**ycats is quick
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting
All greasy and gritty
It looks like it's molting
And tastes like
Well, pity
A woman alone!
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London
Sir
Times is hard
Times is hard