[Verse 1: DJ Felicetti]
Yo Verizon you whack
My internet be slackin'
Yeah whats cracking, I be mackin
Too bad I be here home alone… Culkin
But never sulking
Cause when we sulking Bruce Banner be hulking
I know this isn't easy to hear, lay it on me doc
I think I might have to switch my provider to cox
Not a problem, cause I got too many of those
Like I got with 48 Jimmy Johnson…Lowes
You could say we like DSL
But then again, what the hell?
Your fiber optic network ain't cutting in no more
Benefiber pouches, here take four
In fact scratch that, we on break take five
Here's my DVR, wait fudge it, we'll do it live!
[Verse 2: Big Lou]
Yo yo I get calls like an animal, call me a lynx
Chattering all day I'm chilling in ice rinks
Sending text messages like a popular dude
Text while talking I don't care if it's rude
Hear my ringtone all the time people want to talk to me
But don't talk too much man because it ain't free
I'm running up minutes like I'm a business
Had a phone call for an hour because I'm the shizness
So what if I don't have internet on my phone?
I'll look that sh** up when I get home!
f** y'all and your five megapixel camera
Let's see how your touch screen holds to my five hundred pound hammer!
Sorry I just got carried away
It must be the radiation from talking all day
Like I said I'm a cell phone addict
Taking hits of air time like ecstasy tablets
Hold on I got a call
[Verse 3: Big Lou]
Yo Dawg what's up how you doing?
No not you b**h I'm bluetoothing!
I can talk all day yo no goofing
Later I'll Nextel chirp like I'm roofing
Always on the phone even when I'm home
Even when I'm rolling solo it's like I'm never alone
BBM b**hes like what's up s*ut?
You know ho I always say not much!
Call me up and get a busy signal
I'm texting, driving, and talking on speaker phone
So good with a wireless I can make a b**h moan
I have a good deal to package the phone and the tv
Call me up I have caller ID
But my Fios on and I'm watching Miley
So I'll just text you back like what's up
Turns out it's a booty call and she wants to see if I'll nut up
Yeah I'll go do that ttyl guys