[RENO]
*Spoken*
You think some t-bag can compete with you? You think he's got one tiny fraction of your brains? Your looks? Your...
*Sing*
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best
Instead of getting 'em off my chest
To let 'em rest unexpressed
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar
But if this ditty is not so pretty
But least it'll tell you
How great you are
You're the top!
You're the Colosseum
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You're a Bendel bonnet
A Shakespeare's sonnet
You're Mickey Mouse
You're the Nile
You're the Tower of Pisa
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
[BILLY]
Your words poetic are not pathetic
On the other hand, babe, you shine
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine
Down my spine
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad
But I got a notion
I'll second the motion
And this is what I'm going to add;
You're the top!
You're Mahatma Gandhi
You're the top!
You're Napoleon Brandy
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain
You're the National Gallery
You're Garbo's salary
You're cellophane
You're sublime
You're turkey dinner
You're the time, the time of a Derby winner
I'm a toy balloon that is fated soon to pop
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!
[RENO]
You're the top!
You're an arrow collar
You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire
You're an O'Neill drama
[BILLY]
You're Whistler's mama
[RENO]
You're camembert
[BILLY]
You're a rose
You're Inferno's Dante
[RENO]
You're the nose, on the great Durante
I'm just in a way
As the French would say, "de trop"
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!
[BILLY]
You're the top!
You're a dance in Bali
You're the top!
You're a hot tamale
You're an angel, you
Simply too, too, too diveen
You're a Boticcelli
You're Keats
[RENO]
You're Shelly
[BILLY]
You're Ovaltine
[RENO]
You're a boon
You're the dam at Boulder!
[BILLY]
You're the moon
Over Mae West's shoulder
I'm the nominee of the G.O.P
[RENO]
Or GOP!
[BILLY]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[RENO]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[BOTH]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!
[BILLY]
You're the top!
You're my Swanee river!
[RENO]
You're the top!
You're a goose's liver!
[BILLY]
You're the baby grande of a Lady
And a Gent
[RENO]
You're a dress from Saxes
You're next years taxes
[BILLY]
You're Pepsi-dent!
[RENO]
You're a prize
You're a night at Coney!
[BILLY]
You're the eyes of Irene Bordoni
[RENO]
I'm a frightened frog
That can find no log to hop!
[BOTH]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!
[RENO]
You're the top
You're a Waldorf salad
[BILLY]
You're the top!
You're a Berlin ballad
[RENO]
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee
You're an old Dutch master
[BILLY]
You're Lady Astor
[RENO]
You're broccoli
[BILLY]
You're romance
You're the steppes of Russia
[RENO]
You're the pants on a Roxy usher
I'm a broken doll
[BILLY]
A fol-de-rol
[BOTH]
A blop!
[RENO]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[BILLY]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[BOTH]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!