A couple nuts stuck on your leg
Got a little dribble on your chin
Nobody knows you all sweaty inside 'cept the tooth fairy
"And he's been dead over 3 thousand years"
It looked at your head and it got all hot
LIke an ol' eyeball in a quart jar of snot
My mama loved my grandad late one night
And when I was a little kid he used to give me a lot of sa**
And he said, "Son, when you makes love to your mama, you gots to wash your a**." I don't know a whole lotta things like you all of you do . . . some say I gotta switch in my head and when the light goes out, I can't help myself and I want to take a knife to my old grandad
He made me live and that ain't right
He made me wrong but that's alright
He made the switch and he tanned my hide
He made me see with just one eye
I watched as he pulled that old drippin thing outta mama with a sh** eatin' grin on his face. She smiled and said, "thank you paw," and all I could feel was disgrace . . . then he used his finger, you know, the one that he lost over at the sheet metal factory a couple years ago . . . and started pokin it around. Then she made some noise like she was about to sneeze but grandpa put his drippin' thing over by her face . . . I am maroon and tomato juice. I'll go home and open up a can of sardines and some lemonade . . . Then I'm gonna beat my grandpa straight to hell with an empty fifth of ol' Rebel Yell . . . .
He made me live and that's alright
He made me wrong and that ain't right
He made the switch and he tanned my hide
He made me see with just one eye