I saw the advert on my TV screen
Slimline girls and a tea machine
Housewife proud of her shiny floor
As if that's what she was living for
The cat who had his teeth pulled out
That's what the public love no doubt
A cuddly gimmick to make you smile
That cat won't grin for a very long while
I saw the advert on my TV screen
Slimline drinks and tetley tea
Exploit the accent of the flat-cap men
Like hell the North will rise again
The comradeship of drinking ale
The workers' revolution failed
Too pissed on sh** to notice it
Nevermind where it if it fits
I saw the advert on my TV screen
Slimline cars a real mean machine
It's cheaper than this it's cheaper than that
It's still ten thousand pounds you twat
Do I get a free tart with every one?
Can I drive it off into the sun?
Has it got a big ashtray?
I'm hooked on forty f*gs a day
You mustn't smoke, you mustn't drink
You mustn't even try to think
Just stay dead the advert said
Eight out of ten people had no brains
Eight out of ten said they enjoyed it
The whole damn country died of boredom