Well, I been spending all my money on weed n' pills Trying to write a song that'll pay the bills But it ain't came yet so I guess I'll have to rob a bank I guess it could be worse, it ain't that bad At least I ain't sitting in ol' Baghdad In the middle of the hot damn desert sitting in a tank Every time the wife talks a baby gets mentioned But I'm so broke I can't pay attention Lord how it tears me up to see her cry So I been spending all my nights on the internet Looking for a clue but ain't found one yet Just a bunch of Mopars, guitars, & other stuff I can't buy [Chorus:] Well now Lord if you can hear me Won't you throw a damn dog a bone Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal This old soul's going down I sing 'em real pretty, I sing 'em real sad
And all the people in the crowd say, "he ain't half bad" They call me King Turd up here on sh** Mountain But if you want it you can have the crown I been sitting on my a** like a bump on a log Watching Andy and ol' Boss Hog I guess I ought to get up and go find a job Instead of sitting on the couch trying to find the next line I'm sure there's gotta be a better use of my time Like figuring out which one of these banks I'm gonna go rob Well the name of the game is hurry up and wait But that ain't putting no food on my plate Or gas in my car, and I drive a Bronco So Lord if I could just get me a record deal I might not have to worry about my next meal But I'll still be trying to figure out what the hell rhymes with Bronco [Chorus]