Cousins
Half a bitter for the vicar, he's here to save your soul
He's looking fat and jovial though he's nearly on the dole
Anne Riley cooks his dinner, she keeps him washed and fed
She doesn't need much prompting to jump into his bed.
And they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
But they're not, oh no they're not.
Dr. Watson drinks large whiskies, he's nearly always high
He supplements his income aborting on the sly
Mrs. Thompson is an angel in the W.V.S.
Her meals on wheels are very cheap and she cooks the books for less.
And they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
But they're not, oh no they're not.
Sammy Cohen is the bookie sitting over there
Drinking three star brandy, he doesn't seem to care
No one wants to know him, they say he's been inside
They say his dear old mother committed suicide.
And they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
But they're not, oh no they're not.
Dr. Watson charged Anne Riley a fifty guinea fee
For Mr. Thompson's peace of mind as far as I can see
Mrs. Thompson envies Annie cooking for the preacher
And everyone thinks Sam is a quite disgusting creature
But if the truth was known, it would shake all their foundations
It seems the preacher lives on Sam's anonymous donations.
And they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
Yes, they all think they're so grand
But they're not, oh no they're not
But they're not, oh no they're not
But they're not, oh no they're not.