[Verse One]
Dear poppa I really hope you're reading this
I never had a chance to sit and write bout all the things
I've been feelin since you came down
To raise the son you hadnt seen 11 years
I have some questions and confessions, maybe tears
Always wondered why a n***a livin lavish
Would drop everything he had to see a jit who wasn't havin it
Waking early on Saturdays just to make me a meal
When I would throw all the grits away how did that even feel? Prolly sh**ty
I know that I was awful, in hindsight I see you reached out to me When I couldn't be humbled
My hubris was overwhelming you showered me in your loaves
Myself I began to loathe
As we awkwardly hit the road of our relationship
We as stable as a pencil tip
My heart was callous from the streets I had been witnessin
My heart was callous from the streets...
n***as had broken into the house and were you there?
My bike was stolen then busted to pieces and would you care?
Prolly. Scratch all the nonsense
You would have deaded the n***a and turned him into a coffin
And you know what?
I wish I would have known this in those first years
Known that everything you gave was love and saved a few tears
But now Im older and you're still kickin it with momma
Never left us alone and now my struggle is Karma
I was ungrateful
So why would you buy me sh**?
If it was out of guilt and I milked it I wanna die for it
Regret is overwhelming the air is a thinning black hole
Maybe if I held on a little tighter we'd be whole
[Bridge]
[Verse 2]
Everything is black my eyes are closed nothings intact
This pain is fact all is lost hope forlorn no turning back
Lets make a pact
For every want you have I'll make you double back
In submission, lost transmission heartache burning out my vision
“Will you listen? You have fallen into this without remission
Can you really blame this solely on a hurt you keep forgetting?”
Last I checked nobody cared for the rat
Only the lion was loved
A little saved for the cat
This is where I make my stand because when I turned my back
I left behind all the baggage that you said you had taken back
The love I should have felt walking tall in your false light
I feel within the world without it costing a brothers life
I bet you're at a total lost for solemn words
They claim my soul is gone and dying with the world
And with that I feel an absolute peace
Because I'd rather burn in hell than say I gave up as fleece
[Outro]