Yeah, let me tell you the story about Muk-Tuk Annie,
Who came south to go to school;
With a see-through blouse and sealskin mini,
Old Annie sure looked cool.
She blew into Montreal in the early Fall,
Like nothin' they'd ever seen;
With long black hair and reindeer underwear,
She weighed about two-sixteen.
She came a long, long way, from Frobisher Bay;
People, don'tcha know now what I mean?
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line;
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene.
Well she told her teacher that she wanted to dance,
Said she wanted to study ballet;
But she was four-foot-six with her mukluks off.
And I heard her teacher say
"Now I ain't sayin' Annie that you can't dance,
No, I wouldn't wanna tell you that;
But I got a form here signed in triplicate,
Says you gotta learn to drive a cab."
She says, "I don't wanna learn to cook or sew,
Build boats or drive no cab,
'Cause I came south to sing and dance
And groovy sh** like that,
'Cause I was Miss Baffin Island Beauty Queen
For nineteen-seventy-four
And I spent a whole weekend in Grise Fiord,
With the boys beatin' down the door.
She came a long, long way, from Frobisher Bay;
People, don'tcha know now what I mean?
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line;
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene.
Well she said, "Thank you for your trouble, Sir,
But I'll make it on my own;
And the word spread through the North like wildfire,
"Big Annie's comin' home"
She got off o' the plane with a record player,
Ballet slippers on her toes
And she opened up a little groovy club,
Where everybody comes and goes.
She got Old Stompin' Tom on the record player
And she serves good booze and grub.
And the folks around Baffin Island
Figure it's better 'n any old Playboy club,
You can drink tea, beer and anti-freeze
'Til you fall right off o' your feet.
And there's seal flippers and potato chips,
When you feel like somethin' to eat.
She came a long, long way, from Frobisher Bay;
People, don'tcha know now what I mean?
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line;
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene.
Well she packs that joint almost every night,
An' folks come from miles around.
And every night about ten o'clock,
All the houselights are turned way down;
And suddenly, she's on the stage,
Wearin' that toothless grin,
Short fat Annie, the Goddess o' Love
And she's gonna do her Dance o' Sin
Well she jumps and shouts, and huffs and puffs
And does a little bump and grind
And all she's wearin' is them ptarmigan feathers
Scotch-taped to her behind
Well she made about a hundred grand last year
Which wasn't too bad at all
And decided to take a little holiday
So she flew down to Montreal
It seems she ran into her teacher there
You know, the one that she met before
And she gave 'im a job tendin' the bar
And takin' tickets at her Nightclub door
She come a long, long way from Frobisher Bay
People, don'tcha know now what I mean?
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene
Let me tell ya now, Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene
Let me tell ya now, Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene