[Open Ext. Crystal Temple]
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut]
STEVEN: Nooooo!!!
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
STEVEN: This can't be happening! This has to be a dream! Lars, Lars! (tugs on Lars' legs) Please tell me I'm dreaming!
LARS: (shakes Steven off from his legs) Get off me man, I'm stocking here!
SADIE: I'm sorry, Steven, I guess they stopped making them.
STEVEN: Stopped making them?! Why in the world would they stop making Cookie Cat? They're only the most scrumptious and delicious ice cream sandwich ever made! Don't they have laws for this?!
LARS: (kneels in front of cabinet and sighs) Tough bits, man. Nobody buys them anymore. (stocks shelves) I guess they couldn't compete with Lion Lickers.
STEVEN: (groans) (walks over to the Lion Licker's display case) Not Lion Lickers. Nobody likes them! They don't even look like lions! Kids these days. I'll tell ya what!
LARS: (chuckles) Well, if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don't you make some with your (mockingly) "magic belly bu*ton"? (walks away) Ahahahahaha!
STEVEN: That's not how it works, Lars! ... Right? (holds stomach and sighs) (stomach jiggles) Oh, sweet Cookie Cats, (draws a cookie cat on the freezer with his finger) with your crunchy cookie outside and your icy creamy insides... you were too good for this world. (kisses freezer)
SADIE: Ugh... Steven? (Steven doesn't reply as he hugs the freezer.) (Lars turns from the counter and looks at Steven.) Do you want to take the freezer with you?
(Steven nods.)
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Steven hums "Cookie Cat" song while running home.)
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet are fighting a horde of Centipeetles.)
STEVEN: Hey guys, you won't believe this — (Steven is suddenly attacked by a centipeetle.) Waaah!
AMETHYST: (uses whip to yank centipeetle off Steven) 'Sup, Steven?
STEVEN: Awesome! What are these things?
PEARL: (lifts up centipeetle, groans) Sorry, Steven, we'll get these centipeetles out of your room. We think they were trying to get into the temple.
STEVEN: Aw, you don't have to get rid of 'em. They're really cool. (A centipeetle spits acid onto the floor and Steven and Pearl look down into the new hole.)
AMETHYST: (poofs a centipeetle and picks her nose) Um, you guys, these things don't have gems.
GARNET: That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.
(A Centipeetle sneaks up from beside her as she quickly punches it causing it to poof.)
PEARL: We should probably find it before anyone gets hurt.
STEVEN: (excitedly) Oh! Oh! Can I come?! Can I, can I?!
PEARL: Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, (snaps centipeetle's neck) we'll take care of protecting humanity, okay?
STEVEN: Aw, man. (notices a centipeetle raiding the fridge) Hey! Get out of there! Go on, shoo shoo! Aw, they got into everything. Not cool! (notices fridge is full of Cookie Cats) No way... it can't be! W-where did you get these?! I thought they stopped making them!
PEARL: Well, we heard that too, and since they're your favorite—
AMETHYST: We went out and stole a bunch!
PEARL: (glares at Amethyst angrily) I went back and paid for them.
GARNET: The whole thing was my idea. (retracts gauntlets back to her gems)
AMETHYST: It was everyone's idea.
GARNET: Not really.
PEARL: All that matters is that Steven is happy.
(Steven sings "Cookie Cat".)
(Gems burst out in laughter and applause.)
STEVEN: I can't believe you did this. I'm gonna save these forever! Right after I eat this one. Hello, old friend. (bites into one) Oh, so good! (Steven's gem begins to glow.) I like to eat the ears first.
AMETHYST: Uh, Steven...
STEVEN: Wha-? My gem!
AMETHYST: Quick, try and summon your weapon!
STEVEN: I don't know how! (panicking) Ah, its fading! How do I make it come back?!
PEARL: Calm down, Steven. Breathe, don't force it.
AMETHYST: Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.
GARNET: Please, don't.
(Gem glow fades away, collective sigh.)
STEVEN: Ah, I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?
PEARL: (singsong voice) Oh, I'll go first!
[Trans. Ext. Hill with a blossoming tree whose petals are falling]
PEARL: Pay attention to these petals, Steven. The petals' dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time based on the physical properties of this planet. With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance! (summons spear) Like so.
[Trans. Ext. the Big Donut]
STEVEN: *picks up pile of petals and tosses them in the air* Wah!
AMETHYST: Did Pearl tell you the "petal thing"?
STEVEN: Yeah, I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree... I think.
AMETHYST: Listen Steven, all that practice stuff is no fun. Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens.
(Amethyst summons her whip and breaks a garbage container in two.)
AMETHYST: See? Didn't try at all.
LARS: (runs out back and drops trash bag) Huh?! Again?!
[Trans. Ext. top of Crystal Temple near light house]
STEVEN: So I'm supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?
GARNET: Yes. Or... you could link your mind with the energy of all existing matter. Channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem, which results in— *summons her gauntlets* At least that's my way of doin' it.
[Trans. Int. Beach House kitchen]
STEVEN: I think my best bet is to recreate what happened the last time my gem glowed. So... (points) Garnet and Amethyst were here. Pearl was next to the fridge. Hmm. Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed?
AMETHYST: Okay, your majesty. (crosses arms)
STEVEN: And Pearl, your foot was like this. (moves it at the angle it was)
PEARL: I don't think it works this way Steven.
STEVEN: And Garnet, uh... (moves her face upward) Yeah.
STEVEN: Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat. Oh, wait! I sang the song first. Uh, he's a frozen treat, all new taste, interstellar war, now available at Ghurven's. Aww, it was funnier last time. *sigh* Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.
PEARL: (bends down next to Steven) Don't be silly, Steven. Of course you are.
AMETHYST: And you're fun to have around, even if your gem is useless. (Pearl glares angrily at Amethyst.) I... mean, you're one of us, Steven. We're not the Crystal Gems without you! (Garnet nods.)
STEVEN: Yeah, even if I don't have powers, I've still got... Cookie Cat! (takes a bite) Mmm, so good. (Steven's gem glows then summons his shield, collective gasp.)
PEARL: (amazed) Steven, it's a shield!
STEVEN: Whoa, what?! I get a shield?! Oooh... yeah! (He accidentally launches his shield which ricochets around the room, breaking a TV. Amethyst bursts out laughing.) Huh? Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!
PEARL: (picks up wrapper) What's in these things? (The house rumbles.)
STEVEN: What was that?
[Trans. Ext. Crystal Temple]
(The Gems and Steven look as the Centipeetle Mother and several other centipeetles crawl up the temple.)
GARNET: It's the Mother! (leaps towards it)
PEARL: Stay in the house, Steven!
STEVEN: No way, I'm coming too! (goes back to grab several Cookie Cats and freezer)
(The Gems chase the mother which leads them to the back of the temple and attacks, the Gems take cover behind a broken hand statue as acid is pouring over the side.)
AMETHYST: We could really use Steven's shield right about now!
STEVEN: (chucks pebble at mother) Hey! (plants freezer in ground) Leave them alone!
GEMS: Steven, no!
STEVEN: Cookie Cat Crystal combo powers, activate! (eats a cookie cat and nothing happens) Uh-oh. Aaaah! (retreats further back)
PEARL: We need to save Steven!
AMETHYST: Can we save ourselves first?!
STEVEN: Goodbye, my friends. (eats several cookie cats and nothing happens) Why isn't it working? (retreats once more)
GARNET: Steven! (holds back mother's pincers)
STEVEN: (sees destroyed freezer, gasps) No... Oh, no no no no no!... (slowly) Cookie Cat, he's a pet for your tummy. Cookie Cat, he's super duper yummy! (picks up freezer, more aggressively) Cookie Cat, he left his family behind! Cookie Caaat! (chucks freezer at mother which shocks it) Now available... nowhere.
AMETHYST: Yes!
GARNET: Gems, weapons! (The Gems summon their weapons.) Let's do it.
(Gems burst from cover and attack all at once, destroying the mother. A gem falls and Garnet bubbles it away.)
STEVEN: Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats. I'll always remember the time we spent together. (stomach rumbles) Shh, hush now.
AMETHYST: Are you crying?
STEVEN: (shouts) Only a little!
AMETHYST: Well, I guess your powers don't come from ice cream.
PEARL: Of course they don't come from ice cream. Don't worry, Steven, I'm sure some day you'll figure out how to activate your gem.
GARNET: Yes, in your own Steven-y way.
STEVEN: I'm okay guys. I just— (stomach rumbles) Ugh, I think I ate too many Cookie Cats.
(Gems laugh, Steven laughs anxiously, then retches.)
[END]