JASON
Just look at me
I'm a world-cla** traveler
Each Friday night
Travel travel travel
From her house to his house
First take the 104
With my computer
I am just a little kid
Not a commuter
And each Sunday night
Mother comes to get me
And I hear them fight
Everybody's yelling about the bar mitzvah
It's not a wrestling match
Why are the sweating?
It's not a funeral
What's so upsetting?
It's a celebration
Where I get presents
But everybody's yelling
And everybody's ruining it
It's a celebration
Where I get richer
But everybody's yelling
And everybody's ruining it
Everybody's ruining it
Why, oh, why?
What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah?
MARVIN, TRINA, JASON, AND MENDEL
What have I done that we'd ruin this bar mitzvah?
TRINA
I want the Applebaums
They're lovely, and they like me
MARVIN
They're boring
She just likes the way you dress
MENDEL
Well, who wouldn't?
TRINA
Have the Applebaums
MARVIN
Screw the Applebaums
JASON
Please don't do this!
MARVIN
Saul's a jerk
TRINA
Have them
MARVIN
Nix them!
MENDEL
Long live the Applebaums!
Arguing takes work
JASON
I hate this!
MARVIN
Blame her!
This is all a waste
TRINA
Look at your watch:
It is "h*mo-baroque"
Don't talk to me about taste
JASON
Stop! I don't want a bar mitzvah!
Okay? I don't want a bar mitzvah!
MARVIN AND TRINA
What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?
What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?
How do you think we
How do you think we
How do you think we feel about that?