If you love your lady then here's some good advice
If you want her to stay with you then don't go treating her nice
If you buy her flowers she'll drop you twice as fast
So do what Steel Panther does and stick it right in her a**
Hit her in the sh**ter
Treat her like a critter
f** that lady right
Hit her in the sh**ter
Treat her like a critter
She won't put up a fight
If you're at the strip joint hanging out with the guys
When you get a table dance just look her in the eyes
Tell her that she's ugly and treat her really mean
She'd really want to f** you 'cause strippers have low self esteem
Then you can
Hit her in the sh**ter
Treat her like a critter
f** that dancer girl
Hit her in the sh**ter
Treat her like a critter
Just like Ron Jeremy would
Hit her in the sh**ter
Treat her like a critter
Use your spit for lube
Hit her in the sh**ter
Treat her like a critter
Screw her poopie too
Don't be retarded, you've gotta listen to my song (to this song)
Don't be afraid to get some peanuts on your dong
Hit her in the sh**ter
Gotta treat her like a critter
Treat her like a critter
f** f** yeah
Treat her like a critter
Woah, she really likes it
Treat her like a critter
Yeah, my littles s*ut girl
Treat her like a critter
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
She likes it in the a**
Ooh yeah yeah yeah