I'm living in the uncertainty
Of fair weather memories
Constantly asking if I really remember
Or if it's just from home movies
I'm absent minded, present but lifeless
And when I speak it's nothing of substance
So I started drinking
Because I thought I'd have something to say
It just made me drunk and want to throw up
And I'm still awkward
And I don't think that will change
I'm stuck in my ways, but that's okay
It's not that bad, I'm just sick of feeling like
I'm never in a solid state of mattering
You see right through me
I don't want to live in fair weather memories
I want to know it's more than home movies
And it f**ing scares me
It fu*kING SCAAARES MEEEEEH
That I'm never in a solid state of mattering