[Nook (Egoraptor):]
Oh, sh**, let's play Animal Crossing now
Come on everybody I'll show you how
Now listen real close, I'ma tell you the sitch
Cause my name is Tom Nook and I run this b**h
Congratulations, you bought a new home
Oh, you can't afford it? I can give you a loan
You can catch some bugs till the debt's been paid
Cause you're the newest member of my slave trade
That's right motherf**er, this sh** got real
I rule this crossing with my balls of steel
I also like to rule it with huge a** guns
And Timmy and Tommy, my giant mongoloid sons
Kapp'n the turtle's gonna be your new guide
Who can show you where the people who have crossed me died
So give me your bells and don't misbehave
Or I'll get Mr. Resetti to f**ing dig you a grave
[Danny Sexbang:]
Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing is not a place you wanna f** around
Now you're in Nook's town
Where crazy sh** goes down
So sell seashells and make some bells and shut your f**ing mouth
Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing, this is his land
Now taste the back of his pimp hand
His balls are bra**
And he's the mayor of your f**ing a**
[Nook:]
Damn, that's right, s*ut
You got once choice, bow down or get cut
You better recognize the tanuki tycoon
And my thug life gang of adorable goons
My owl a**a**in with a little bow tie
You don't matter to Blathers, he'll make your a** die
He'll tell you 'bout insects, letters and numerals
And he'll get K.K. to f**ing sing at your funeral
Kicks sells shoes and he doesn't take sa**
And my boots are beautiful when I stomp your a**
Brewster serves you coffee and scones
And stabs your neck if you don't pay my loan
So sell some sh** to my alpacas down south
And if you don't, I'll-pack-a my nuts in your mouth
You want in this town, you better bring some bells
Or I'll co*k the Glock and f**ing send you to hell
[Outro:]
[Nook:]
Yeah!
What, you don't like my prices?
Then go somewhere else!
Oh wait, you can't; you're trapped in my town, b**h!
So go to that island, and catch some beetles, sell them to my alpacas
Your nuts are on special!