[Danny - Gla** Joe:]
Bonjour, hello, my name is Gla** Joe
I'm the toughest French boxer that you're ever gonna know
Score a TKO, the drink a fine coteaux
And flatten my opponents like croissanteu
I fight next week for the champion belt
Mr Sandman is tough, and I might need a little help
So I hired Doc, he once trained an elf
Named Little Mac, so now I believe in myself!
[Arin - Doc Louis:]
I'm Doc! Hi!
This b**h is gonna die!
His overall record stands at 1-99
He's been hit in the head 75 too many times
He wants to fight Sandman
DEAR God WHY?
His head and his a** might go through an estrangement
I think I'll start making all my funeral arrangements!
I have to be responsible and tell him he can't win!
(Here's ten bucks!)
f** it, let the training begin!
[Danny - Gla** Joe:]
Woah-oh! Woah-oh! I'll be the champion!
I have the heart of a lion!
(That's clearly not going to be enough!)
I've got the sk**s!
(No you don't)
I've got the power!
(Wrong again!)
You'll never catch me, I am like the Eiffel Tower!
(That doesn't move!)
Woah-oh! Woah-oh! I'll be the champion!
I'm building an ark of triumph!
(That took like, 30 years to build)
I've gotta fight for Ma-rie Antoinette!
I'll break this Sandman like a stale baguette!
NO SWEAT!
[Arin - Doc Louis:]
Now it's four weeks later, and it's time for the fight!
I'm sad I've gotta watch a man die tonight
Do not worry Doc, Gla** Joe is built to last!
You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
Your weight training diet is all wine and cheese
You've got the body of a man with an awful disease!
Your raw muscles look like a deflated apple fritter!
Your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter!
[Ding ding]
[Danny - Gla** Joe:]
There's the bell!
Thanks for your help, Doc!
(Yeah, see you in hell)
This is my moment, Viva la France
All of my training, has led to this chance
I benched ten Q-tips, I ran 5 feet
I did a half-push-up, victory will be sweet!
There's Mr. Sandman, here he comes
But I believe in myself, so I have already won!
Woah-oh! Woah-oh! I'll be the champion!
I have the heart of a-AW!
[Punching sounds]
[Weakly:]
Woah-oh, woah-oh, I like candy corns,
Please put them in my donuts
(Aw, you beat the French out of him!)
I have my-
[More punching sounds]
My favorite color is seven-UH-
No more peanuts for me, stewardess!
Godzilla is my dad...