[Verse 1: Stan Manson]
Back in the day I had a decade-old Ford Taurus
Now I've upgraded to a two-year-old Ford Taurus
So bring in the chorus cause kind of worth rejoicing
The cash I get can pay off some of my mortgage
I don't look back on those days with any fondness
I can put fillings in my teeth which were rotten
Where I sleep, I used to have to roll a cot in
Now I'm on a double bed with sheets made of cotton
Yo we made it
Junk Squad, up in here
I got a paycheck
Oh sh**
[Verse 2: Jay Z Jr.]
I used to shop at No Frills, now I shop at Whole Foods
I don't have to deal with teen grocers that are so rude
I've got a used car, and it wasn't even that used
Went to Payless, bought a new pair of old shoes
Groovy dude, I really made it, huh?
Might even see a cute girl fully naked, huh?
Well not that cute, but maybe kind of cute
I might take her to the club, buy a bottle of brut
Well maybe not brut, but maybe Absolut
Wait, I don't know, how much is Absolut?
No seriously, how much is Absolut?
[Verse 3: Jerk Tasty "The Beauty Queen"]
If I were a rich man, a-deedle-deedle-didle-digguh-digguh-deedle f**ing dum
Yeah I would have all the money in the world, if I were a wealthy man
Yeah I wouldn't have to work hard a deedle-deedle-didle-digguh-digguh-deedle f** that
I drive a Maserati, but really it's a Pontiac with a Mazda body
At night when I get cold I cuddle in my wife's folds
She's got my dick in her demon d**h hold
It's not even pleasant
We eat so much Kraft Dinner
f**
[Verse 4: Fizziq AKA Positivity]
f**ing gainfully employed b**h
Five figure salary
Uh uh
Hot and cold running water
Straight living fly, b-ball jersey and tie
Got my hair slicked back No water to wet it
Didn't shower for a week, hair grease like Popel
Just set it, and forget it
Watch Will and Grace on my 13 inch TV
Man that Eric McCormick is okay by me
Seems like a cool guy, not as trill as Rob Lowe
Heard that in the show he just plays a h*mo
At home got a wife and his children
Bet he got a nice house worth a million
Some day I hope to act with Debra Messing
Yeah I'ma be on Smash, gotta stop my stressing
Keep my confidence high, it's the end of the track
Just like Shaun Hayes when he shouts "Just Jack!"