Said Artie Shaw to the cigarette girl
"There's a story down in showbiz
You might have known all along
And maybe I could be wrong
But I don't think it is
That if you've got a million dollars
You can go and catch some exotic disease
But then again, if not, I guess you've just got
To be easier to please"
'Cause I tell you, it's strange but true I guess
Sometimes it's easier to deal with failure
Than it can be to deal with success
Before you're done and while you're still young
You've got to get out and have your fun
So, you're not the first
And you're not the worst
You're just another one
And though it's poorly understood, it has often been said
So, just to be blunt, you've got to know what you want
Before you can be disappointed
And you may reach a place where everything starts to gleam
So much that at night you don't even have to bother to dream
And I've never been there, but I heard it's nice
So welcome all you s**ers, it's almost paradise
Said Artie Shaw: "There's a little secret
Though you probably already knew it
Just between us, the struggles' so glamorous
As long as you don't actually do it
Because I find this business to be as easy as you please
Where you just take your sins
And when you put them in
They come out career opportunities"