My friends would say I'm anti-social, if I had any friends
But I know that I'm in the right - that's where this song should end
When party season comes around you know where I'll be found
You'll find me in the kitchen, not in someone else's house
The noise, confusion, crosstalk, bafflegab and god forbid
Exhaustion feigning interest in someone's bloody kids
Exhaustion being int-resting – all thinking up new words
Then when you think you've got it sussed - it suddenly gets worse because
Some guy gets his guitar and starts playing 'Wonderwall'
Some girl says she loves this one and tweets it to us all
This guy knows all the chords and shows me them as well
That's why I'm not in parties
"Everyone loves parties" is the lie that I was sold
I'm counting down the four more hours until I can go home
A firestorm of boredom, awful music, strangers, schmooze
Conversational one-upmanship, no one explains the rules
All my life The Party's been romanticized and hyped
Anticipation amplified, anxiety denied
Reality's a bunch of over-stimulated fools
Without a thing in common bar they're all in the same room
And then...
Some guy gets his guitar and starts playing 'Wonderwall'
He thinks that I'm impressed so he plays it more and more
That girl thinks I'm impressed and moves me to the door
That why I'm not in parties
I heard that joke
I heard that story
Last time it was pretty dull
Out in the cool night air relief is palpable
That guy with his guitar is still playing 'Wonderwall'
That girl's still hanging off his every clanging chord
That's why I'm not in parties