[episode starts at the Krusty Krab at night]
SpongeBob: [Flips sign from "open" to "closed] Good night, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Closing time already?
SpongeBob: Yep, I just gave the last order to the last customer.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, well I'll see you tomorrow.
SpongeBob: Say, Mr. Krabs, can I give Gary a Krabby Patty for tomorrow? Because tomorrow is a special day!
Mr. Krabs: Sure! Wait, what's tomorrow?
SpongeBob: Gasp! Mr. Krabs, did you forget what tomorrow is? It's "Bring Your Pet To Work" day!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay! You may give your snail a Krabby Patty. But please give me a tip, cause pets are sooo special!
SpongeBob: You got it, Mr. Krabs! [Gives Mr. Krabs a small amount of change] Thanks, Mr. Krabs! [Leaves, then pops out of no where] Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: What the...?!
SpongeBob: [speaking gibberish]
Mr. Krabs: What, what?!
SpongeBob: We're all out of krabby patties!
Mr. Krabs: Did you check the freezer?!
SpongeBob: I checked the freezer, the spare freezer, the back-up frezer, extra freezer, the rear freezer, the micro freezer, and the freezer under the stairs!
Mr. Krabs: What about the freezer in the attic?
SpongeBob: We don't have an attic.
Mr. Krabs: No attic?!
SpongeBob: You sold it, remember?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah.
[Plankton and Karen are spying on Krabs and SpongeBob from the Chum Bucket with a telescope]
Plankton: Okay, now what's he saying?
Karen: I have no idea.
Plankton: What? I thought you said you read lips!
Karen: I can, but you took away my telescope away!
[Plankton gives the telescope to Karen]
Mr. Krabs: [In the telescope] Well, that settles it, SpongeBob. We're just gonna have to make a fresh batch of krabby patties.
SpongeBob: A fresh batch?
Mr. Krabs: You heard me. A fresh batch of krabby patties.
Plankton: Okay, now what's he saying?
Karen: He said they're going to make a fresh batch of Krabby Patties.
Plankton: A fresh batch of—ooh, this is good. This is really good!'
SpongeBob: When are we making this fresh batch of Krabby Patties, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: What?
Plankton: Okay, now what'd he say?
Karen: What?
Plankton: I said, "What'd he say?"
Karen: He said, "What?"
Plankton: I have no idea, that's why I'm asking you what he said!
Karen: I know that, and I'm saying he said, "What?"!
Plankton: I know that! Wait... oh, he said, "What?".
Karen: Yes!
SpongeBob: Wow, a fresh batch of Krabby Patties! Gary's gonna go crazy!
Mr. Krabs: You know, SpongeBob, might not be a good idea to bring your dirty snail into me restaurant. I think we just might want to reschedule "Bring Your Pet To Work" day.
SpongeBob: No! Mr. Krabs, I promise that Gary will be clean. I'll make sure he takes an extra long bath tonight!
Mr. Krabs: Okay, but make sure your pet is healthy, and clean!
Plankton: Healthy and Clean, Fresh Batch of Krabby Patties? Ooh, I think I smell a plan!
[Bubbles change the scene showing SpongeBob's House]
SpongeBob: Gary! I brought you a delicious treat!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Oh, there you are Gar bear I got you some kelp fries. [Holds a bag, and grabs out a plate of french fries. Gary sniffs them] I was going to bring you a Krabby Patty, but we ran out! So, you enjoy them while I get your bath ready. [Gary gets scared and runs away while SpongeBob fills the bath tub] Gary! Your bath is ready! Gary? [Eats a kelp fry] Gary? [Walks in the kitchen. He sees Gary hiding under the counter] Gary, not again come on out it's dirty! [Grabs Gary] Gotcha! Come on Gary, quit messing ar....[Tries to pull him out but accidentally trips and Gary flies into a pot on top of the refrigerator and is covered in mud]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: [Upset] Great, Gary,just great! Now you need an extra, extra, extra, extra long bath! You're not going to come down from there, are you?
Gary: Meow. [No]
SpongeBob: Ugh! you win, we'll bathe you in the morning! [Flicks off the light and leaves.. Bubbles change the scene. Gary hears a knock on the door and comes to answer it]
Plankton: [In a disguise wearing a wig and has a suitcase] Good morning sir! My name is Sheldon R. Shellcleaner, owner and operator of Super Shell Cleaner Vacations Unlimited. Can I ask you a question? Are you tire of your dirty shell resulting in tireless hours of...
SpongeBob: [Off screen] Gary! I'm going to start the bath!
Plankton: Look I'll just cut to the chase. Do you have a dirty shell and hate bath time?
Gary: Meow. [Yes]
{{L|Plankton|Of course you do! That's why I must tell you about our limited time offer. Where not 4, not 3, but 1 luxurious night here![Opens suitcase and a large poster pops out] At Club Shell! A perfect resort for snails. Don't try to pinch yourself this could be...
SpongeBob: [off screen] Gary! The bath is ready!
Plankton: ...all yours! Now I know what your thinking but I got you covered! [Shows Gary an orange shell] A temporary shell will be provided for you to wear while yours is being cleaned, and all of this is free of charge of course.
SpongeBob: [off screen] Gary! Your bath is ready!
[Gary immediately puts on the shell and leaves]
{{L|Plankton|have a pleasant stay! Bon Voyage! [Closes the door and takes off the disguise, goes into Gary's real shell, and puts small balls on his antannaes, making him look like Gary] If my reasoning is correct, as SpongeBob's pet I'll get to witness Krabby Patties being made from scratch! Then I can copy the formula, and destroy Krabs once and for all!
SpongeBob: [Appears walking next to Plankton in the shell and mistakes him for Gary] Ah-ha there you are Gar-Bear! [Picks him up and walks up the stairs] Oh, you naughty little snail hiding from me! I'm gonna give you a real good scrubbing. You have to be sparkly clean for "Bring your pet to work day"! And today is the day! [Goes to the bath tub and drops "Gary" in the tub] First I'm gonna start you off with a yummy smelling shower gel!
Plankton: Wha...? [Gets squirted with the gel and is covered in shampoo]
SpongeBob: Ahhh, smells nice, doesn't it?
Plankton: Ugh...
SpongeBob: [Takes "Gary" and holds him above his head] Prepare yourself for the scrubbing of a lifetime! [Scrubs Plankton by dragging him back and forth like a sponge]
Plankton: [screams]
SpongeBob: [Stops scrubbing him] Doesn't that feel good?
Plankton: [Coughs and Chokes] Curses! Oh, I mean... meow?
SpongeBob: [Nervous] Gary, are you feeling alright?
Plankton: I've never felt better! Uh, I mean... meow! [Soap washes off and reveals his body to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [Worried] Gary! You're turning green! And talking!
Plankton: No I'm not.
SpongeBob: [Rushes down the stairs holding "Gary"] We gotta get you to the pet hospital!
Plankton: What?! But what about the fresh batch of Krabby Patties?! I mean, meow!
SpongeBob: You're right, Gary! I have to call Mr. Krabs and tell him I'm late! Gosh, Gary, your a lot talkative when you're sick. [Bubbles change the scene showing the hospital.. To Sadie] Doctor, My pet snail is turning green and he's talking. Is he alright?
[Sadie takes a look at "Gary"]
Plankton: [Afraid she might notice it's him] Meow? [Sadie throws bottles of medicine on the ceiling while shrieking in horror]
SpongeBob: Sooo, is that a yes or a no?
Sadie: I've never seen such a terrible thing! Doctors, run this snail to the room!
[Bubbles change the scene and Plankton is sitting on a bed]
Plankton: [Sees a large computer, thinking wheter it's Karen] Karen! Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.
Sadie: [Walks in the room] Don't you worry, Gary. I'm just going to give you some tests. It'll be over before you know it. [We hear Plankton screaming in pain while the screen shows the hospital. SpongeBob breathes heavily thinking about "Gary"]
Doctor#1: Sir, all we're saying is that your pet snail is still in the room taking tests.
Doctor#2: [To Doctor#1] That's what I'm not saying.
SpongeBob: [Wailing] Oh, Gary! [cries]
Doctor#2: [To SpongeBob] Yes, we tried everything we can, sir, we just can't seem to find out what's wrong with him! I've never seen anything like it.
SpongeBob: Please save him, doctor!
[Bubbles change the scene]
Plankton: [Sleeps on the bed, then wakes up paranoid] Please! No more!
Sadie: It's okay, honey, the tests are over. I'm just going to give you a little pill.
Plankton: Whew! I'm glad that's over.
Sadie: [Takes out a giant pill bigger than Plankton] Open wide. [Plankton screams as Sadie puts the pill in his mouth]
Sadie: There, that wasn't so bad, was it? [Plankton has the pill in his mouth, tears up, and spits out the pill all over her] That's not good... [Bubbles change the scene showing SpongeBob still crying] Uh, Mr. SquarePants?
SpongeBob: [stops crying and heads over to "Gary" who is covered up in bandages] Gary!
Sadie: The doctors say there's nothing we can do. It's best to take your snail home and let nature take it's course...
SpongeBob: Doctor, you don't mean... [Sadie walks away] Doctor?! Oh well, Gary, it looks like this is...[sniff]... the end. [wails]
Plankton: If I could just have a... [cough cough] Krabby Patty before I go...
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Gary, but... [sniffs]
Plankton: But what?
SpongeBob: Well, now that you can talk... I'm running out of time to say I love you! [continues wailing and crying]
Plankton: [sighs] Oh, boy...
[Bubbles change the scene to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob walks while holding "Gary" to the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Don't you worry, Gary, I'll whip you up the best Krabby Patty you've ever eaten.
[Bus Drives by]
Tourist: So, Once again we'd like to thank you for choosing Club Shell, And we hope to see you again soon.
SpongeBob: [Carrying "Gary"] Just a little further, Gare-bare.
Gary: [Looks Out Window]
Plankton: Yes!
[Gary pulls busline angrily and slithers over to the Krusty Krab on order to put Plankton to d**h]
SpongeBob: [Puts "Gary" down on the floor next to the grill] Now you just wait here, and daddy will fix you up that Krabby Patty I told you about. See you Gary... [Walks away gloomily]
Plankton: Yes, Spongefool come back with the formula and victory will be mine!
[Gary slithers to Plankton angrily and growls at him]
Plankton: Uh, mommy?
[Gary beats Plankton up, while Mr. Krabs hears this, and he sees Plankton running out the door]
[Fire Extinguisher flies out the delivery window]
Mr. Krabs: Plankton? [Finds out Gary beat him out of the restaurants and had an idea. Bubbles change the scene. Gary is at the Krusty Krab door letting people in, then Plankton in a costume comes up to Gary]
Plankton: Good day, sir. I'm just here to sample some of your delicious Krabby fare. [Gary Growls] Whoa, hold on there, fido! [screams and runs away] I'm going! I'm going!
SpongeBob: Wow, Mr. Krabs, Gary's doing a great job as bouncer. He's really earning his pay!
Mr. Krabs: Well, he takes after you, lad. [surprised] Pay?!?
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick!
Patrick: Hi, uhh...
SpongeBob: SpongeBob.
Patrick: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick!
Patrick: Yeah?
SpongeBob: You wanna play hide-and-seek?
Patrick: Yeah!
SpongeBob: Okay! I figure that that spot over there by those rocks is a good place to-
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yeah...?
Patrick: Do I have to know what hide-and-seek is in order to play it?
SpongeBob: [Laughing] C'mon, Patrick, Quit fooling around! We've played hide-and-seek dozens of times!
Patrick: Dozens?
SpongeBob: Thousands!
Patrick: Thousands?!
SpongeBob: Well I don't know for sure how many I...
Patrick: Gosh!
SpongeBob: Gosh what?
Patrick: I didn't know hide-and-seek had so much mathematics.
[Bubble transition changes the scene]
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's simple. [stands behind a rock] A person stands behind a rock, like this. Then they cover their eyes. [uncovers on of his eyes] And count while the other person runs and hides!
Patrick: Hey, you're peeking!
SpongeBob: I thought you said you didn't know how to play.
Patrick: Play what?
SpongeBob: Hide 'n seek!
Patrick: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I do! I do know how to play!
SpongeBob: Oh, good!
Patrick: I- I just have one tiny question.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick: What's hide 'n seek? [Bubble transition change the scene]
SpongeBob: [socks on his hands] Ya think you're getting it now, Patrick? Did you find the sock puppet demonstration to be useful?
Patrick: Hide 'n seek a game played by two or more players in which one player chosen a random count allowed to a pre-determined number while the remain players hide. Upon reaching said number, the counting player'll know unforced now to search for the other players. [SpongeBob takes his socks off his hands and on his feet] The search continues until all players are located and a winner is determined.
SpongeBob: Hey, you really are getting it!
Patrick: Hide 'n seek sure sounds fun, I just wish I could play! [cries]
SpongeBob: Oh Patrick come on of course we can play!
Patrick: Oh no! I can't! [keeps on crying]
SpongeBob: Why can't you?
Patrick: Because... I don't have any socks! [continues crying]
SpongeBob: No Patrick, forget about the socks.
Patrick: What socks?
SpongeBob: Never mind, just start counting.
Patrick: [Covering his eyes] One, two, three... [continues counting]
SpongeBob: That's perfect! Now I'm gonna run and hide.
Patrick: Seven, Eight...
SpongeBob: Now I'm all over, where am I gonna hide? [Looks to the right, then the left] hmmm [Lifts his finger up then puts his finger in his mouth and sticks out his tounge before licking his finger and puts the finger in and out] That's definatley one idea.
Patrick: Seventy-eight, seventy-nine, one hundred! FOUR! A-ha! I found you. I win I win I win! In your face [Pokes SpongeBob in the face] I must be the best hide and seek player ever!
SpongeBob: All right, it's my turn to count. You know what you're supposed to do right?
Patrick: OF COURSE! I'm the best hide and seek player ever aren't I?
SpongeBob: Right. Here I go. One, two, three, four, five, six,seven,eight...
Patrick: [in thought] Do you hear that? No what is that? Oh, it's SpongeBob. Why is he counting? I guess I'll just go home, maybe or later he'll want to play a game or something.
SpongeBob: Twenty-two,twenty-three,twenty-four,twenty-five,twenty-six,twenty-seven,twenty-eight,twenty-nine,thirty... Patrick lifts up his rock and jumps in] Ninty-nine, one hundred. Now where is he hiding? [Looks at Patrick's rock] No way too obvious. [Walks away, little realizing that Patrick was taking out his trash] Come out, come out wherever you are! [Looks behind kelp and through a rock, but the rock is upside down a flower springs behind him] Patrick! [See Patricks head] Patrick! [Lifts his head up but it is brain coral] This is gonna be harder than I thought.
Squidward: La da dee La da dum La da doo [Reaches for his keys]
SpongeBob: Squidward! [Squidward is rumaging now] SQUIDWARRRD! [Squidward is flicking] SQUIIIDWARRRD.
Squidward: No! [Flicks through carrots]
SpongeBob: SSSQUIIIDWARRRD! [Squidward trys to get in the house but the key snaps meaning he is stuck with SpongeBob. Screams]
SpongeBob: Squidward,
Squidward: WHAT!!!
SpongeBob: I'm playing hide and seek with Patrick and I was wondering if I could search for him in your house.
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: OK see ya bye.
Mr. Krabs: Pattys kr [Bangs into a letter] What the... [An a falls near him] TIME FOR THE SHELTER! This taken sooner than I thought.
SpongeBob: Hey Mr. Krabs!
Mr.Krabs: Oh how do they know my name?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs up here!
Mr. krabs: SpongeBob? What are you doing?
SpongeBob I'm playing hide and seek with Patrick. I thought I'd look for him on this sign.
Mr.Krabs: SpongeBob! THAT MAKES ME FURIOUS!
SpongeBob: Don't worry Mr.Krabs, I'll clean it up.
Mr.Krabs: It's not that! It's just that you have'nt paid the fee.
SpongeBob: The fee?
Mr.Krabs: Yeah you know. The Krusty krab hide and go seekers fee. For playing hide and seek on Krusty Krab premises.
SpongeBob: Oh, that one. I almost forgot. [Throws coins into Mr.krab's chest]
Mr. Krabs: OK! Good luck finding him!
SpongeBob: Thanks Mr.krabs! Darn it! [cut scene to boating school and the bell rings. SpongeBob is looking under boats]
Mrs. Puff: Where could that awful noise be coming from? It's been going on for hours now. SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Hi Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: What are you doing? My cla** can hardly hear me teach.
SpongeBob: I'm trying to lift this boat. I think Patrick's hiding underneath it.
Mrs. Puff: Why would he be doing that?
SpongeBob: Because we're playing hide and seek. Wanna play?
Mrs. Puff: Me? Why no I I could'nt
SpongeBob: Are you sure?
Mrs.Puff: Yes.
SpongeBob Are you sure you're sure?
Mrs.puff: Yes
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure you're sure?
Mrs.puff: Yes I'm sure.
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure you're sure you're sure?
Mrs. Puff: Yes
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure...
Mrs.puff: Naturally SpongeBob, I will play. [lifts up the boat, throws it and makes a fire]
SpongeBob: Nope he's not under there. Thanks for checking under your car Mrs.puff.
Sandy: Yes [SpongeBob rushes through the door] SpongeBob? What are you doing with that magnifying gla**?
SpongeBob: Looking for Patrick. I've been seeking and seeking all day but I can't find him.
Sandy: Oh, that's terrible news.
SpongeBob: I know.
Sandy: Come on. You ain't gonna find him with that drab little thing. I've got something better. [pushes a bu*ton and a submarine comes up]
SpongeBob: Wow. Are you sure it's OK for me to use this?
Sandy: I keep this thing here for emergencies. This is an emergancy. Right SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes. Yes absolutely. [climbs into the submarine] Thanks again Sandy
Sandy: Be careful! [Hole breaks in treedome. SpongeBob searches everywhere. Cut scene to map of Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob: Darn it. "Welcome to the end of the world, cafe and gift shop". [Walks in]
Waiter: May I help you son?
SpongeBob: I'm looking for my friend Patrick.
Waiter: You mean a big mouthish fellow with a pointy head?
SpongeBob: Exactly.
Waiter: I have not seen him.
SpongeBob: Oh. Oh well thanks anyway.
Waiter: Wait! Is he pink?
SpongeBob: yeah
Waiter: Well in that case, he's sitting right over there.
SpongeBob: I can't believe it! Patrick it really is you.
Patrick not-star: My name is Patrick. Patrick not-star.
SpongeBob: Patrick not-star? Oh no! You aren't the one I'm seeking! Now i'll never find Patrick! He wins at hide and seek! He wins. He wins.
Patrick Not-Star: So he wins. What's so bad about that?
SpongeBob: Well if he wins I lose.
Patrick Not-Star: Did you have fun playing?
SpongeBob: Yeah
Patrick Not-Star: Well then it's OK to lose as long as you have fun doing it.
SpongeBob: Hey, you're right! Thanks Patrick not-star.
Patrick Not-Star: Just one more thing.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick Not-Star: Do you have $1 I can borrow?
SpongeBob: Patrick! You were under there the whole time?
Patrick: Underwear.
SpongeBob: I was just leaving this note for you.
Patrick: "Dear Patrick: I could'nt find you so you win. But that's OK because I still had fun playing. You are truly the greatest hide and seek player in the whole world. Love SpongeBob. Thanks SpongeBob. That really means a lot."
SpongeBob: Patrick I would'nt say it if I did'nt mean it.
Patrick: I still have one question.
SpongeBob: Ask away.
Patrick: What's hide and seek?