[Bubble transition to begin episode]
Patrick: [walking] So why are we going to Sandy's house?
SpongeBob: To see her vacation slides for the hu.. [gets smacked in face by door] Ow!
ZDS Agent: [Walking out the door with his partner and the slides] We got the slides, sir.
Patrick: Who?...What?...Why?
[The both get dragged in by Sandy]
Sandy: [Taking SpongeBob and Patrick] Those two agents from the Zero Dryland Security just confiscated all my vacation slides, boys. Or so they think... [She pulls a tree trunk lever to activate a secret hideout] You see, [puts the two on two chairs. She goes to a copy of the vacation slides] Someone already made six copies.
[SpongeBob raises his hand]
Sandy: Yes, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Who is this someone? Do we know him?
Sandy: By someone, I was implying me, SpongeBob. [Patrick raises his hand] Yes, Patrick?
Patrick: Can you not imply anymore? It's confusing.
[SpongeBob raises his hand again]
Sandy: [tying up SpongeBob and Patrick with rope] Okay, no more questions until the end of the slideshow. Okay? [they nod in agreement] Good. [shows the first slide] The first slide is of me getting some last-minute readings before I took off on my vacation. [switches to the next slide] And this is me giving the thumbs-up-goodbye for now salute. [shows the next slide] And this... [dreadfully] This is where a little square pal of mine decided to pay me a visit.
[transition to SpongeBob visiting Sandy]
SpongeBob: [walking to Sandy's house] ♪I'm ready to see Sandy. I'm ready to see Sandy. I'm ready to see Sandy [spinning] I'm ready to ring Sandy's doorbel♪ [rings the doorbell; suddenly, an extreme humming noise vibrates the ocean floor] Saaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnddddddddyyyyyy...! [a rocket emerges from beneath the ground] Whoa!
Sandy: What do you think of my moon wagon?
SpongeBob: Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry I activated it! How was I to know it was hooked up to your doorbell?
Sandy: Oh no, SpongeBob. That's what you call a "coincidence". I'm getting ready for my vacation!
SpongeBob: Where are you going?
Sandy: The moon! [SpongeBob gasps]
SpongeBob: You're going on a moon trip?!
Sandy: Yep! I'm all packed up and ready to go. Wanna help me…
SpongeBob: I'll be right back!
Sandy: ...load up the moon wagon? [sighs]
SpongeBob: [SpongeBob is at bakery] Morning, Mr. Bakerman! Oh, that's right, I'm sorry. I have to pick a number. [attempts to pull a ticket, but fails and gets tangled up]
Bakerman: Number 12.
SpongeBob: Yes, I'm Number 12!
Bakerman: What can I get for you today?
SpongeBob: I need a bon voyage sheet cake. [Bakerman brings out out sheet cake] Could you put yummy words on it? Hmmmmm, what would those yummy words be? I got it! "Have fun on the moon...". What rhymes with "moon"? Tune? Roon? Noon? Goon?
Bakerman: How about “loon?”
SpongeBob: I got it! "See you soon!”
Countdown: [SpongeBob heads back to Sandy's dome with the cake. The rocket is a few seconds from takeoff] T-minus 12, 11, 10, 9, 8…
SpongeBob: No, Sandy! Wait! You can't go without your sheet cake! [grabs a hold of the ladder, but falls into the rocket] Whoa!
Sandy: [sees SpongeBob] SpongeBob? What in cold chicken and pickles are you doing in my ship?
SpongeBob: [panting, and out of breath] I went to get you a, so I went to the, and then I got you a, and then T-minus something, and…
Countdown: Launch commencing.
Sandy: Nevermind. Can't stop the countdown now. Better strap yourself down. Looks like you're going on a mooncation!
SpongeBob: I am?! Whoooooo! Moon trip! Moon trip! Moon trip! [rocket takes off] Hey Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Hey, Sandy...
Sandy: Uh, I'm kinda busy here, SpongeBob. Gotta recalculate to account for the extra weight.
SpongeBob: Oh, I just wanted to show you the…
Sandy: for the afterburners! [activates afterburners; propels rocket further] What were you saying, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh, I… brought you a “bon voyage” sheet cake.
Sandy: You can't bring regular food into space!
SpongeBob: Wha, wha, wha, why not?
Sandy: Because, as we leave Earth's gravity, everything becomes weightless, and any un-contained food will float off in all directions!
SpongeBob: Oh. Is that a bad thing?
Sandy: Only if it gets s**ed into the reverse spatial linearity drive. [cake floats into the reverse spatial linearity drive. The rocket engine malfunctions and turns off] Ah nuts!
SpongeBob: Oops. Sorry Sandy.
Sandy: [presses "Toss" bu*ton, and gets dressed in a large space suit] Well, it's a good thing I've brought my special space suit designed for just this kind of situation! Now, try not to file anything else up while I'm saving our necks. [goes into space] Aha! There's our problem. [clears the cake out from the the reverse spatial linearity drive.]'' Eh, could've used more nuts. [comes back inside rocket] Okay. I've got her up and running, again. Now, can you please sit with your hands folded for a while, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Roger that! Folding hands.
Sandy: Now, get ready for lunar module se…
SpongeBob: [folds hands into a bird] What do you think Sandy?
Sandy: Just don't touch anything while we separate.
SpongeBob: Ok.
Sandy: [detaches rocket from boosters] That looks like a good spot. [lands on the moon, sets camp up] Alright, SpongeBob. Now that our camp is set up, it's time for some moon crater boarding! [brings out boards]
SpongeBob: What's moon crater boarding?
Sandy: You ride these on that like this. [jumps on and rides her snowboard on the moon]'' Yeehaw! Right here is the Flip-a-dee-do-dah. [flips her board in midair] Right there is the cla**ic Texas tail grab. [grabs tail, and twists it into the shape of Texas] And this I call the 7-20 Nut Drop. [spins and breaks an asteroid into an acorn and eats it]'' Munchie! And let's not forget my grandpappy's favorite: The Tour to Saturn. [lies down on Saturn's rings] ‘' Star gazer! Yeehaw! Nothing like extreme sports and zero gravity! Alright your turn.
SpongeBob: Oh gee Sandy. I don't know. This looks kinda scary.
Sandy: Oh, come on SpongeBob. You got this! It's a can of corn.
SpongeBob: I don't know what corn is, but I sure like cans. Alright, I'll give it a try. [jumps on board and floats off into space] Sandy, this doesn't seem right.
Sandy: Uh oh! Looks like SpongeBob's too light for lunar gravity. SpongeBob, grab a hold of this! [la**os asteroid to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [grabs onto asteroid] Ok. [the rock pulls SpongeBob to the moon surface. SpongeBob begins to surf the moon, but screams]
Sandy: Wow, SpongeBob! What do you call that trick? [SpongeBob keeps screaming] Interesting. Maybe you can teach me how to do a “Waaaaah!”
SpongeBob: [SpongeBob continues screaming, and begins to surf over a satellite] Hey, this is kind of fun! [leaps, and bounces off the satellite, damaging it]
Character on TV: [shifts to Patrick watching TV] Carol, your real father is… [TV goes out due to satellite damage]
Patrick: Hey! Who's Carol's real father?!
SpongeBob: [scene returns to SpongeBob] Watch this Sandy! [ties an asteroid to his helmet to hold him down] Alright. A no-look... let's see... a one-footed, tongue-out, flip, leg up… [accidentally smashes into rocket's fuel tank, making it leak] puncture into the side of the rocket.
Sandy: You did great, SpongeBob! But, you should call your trick the "no-look, one-footed, tongue-out, flip, leg up, puncture the fuel tank on the rocket.”
SpongeBob: Oops!
Sandy: Come on, SpongeBob. We gotta get while there's still enough fuel to make it home!
SpongeBob: Wait! I have to do something very important! [takes picture of himself “holding the earth”] There! [both go into the rocket, and head for earth] So, we are going to make it, aren't we Sandy?
Sandy: If the fuel holds out, there's no reason to panic. [rocket fuel signs shows “Empty”. Rocket starts falling to earth] Without the engines, we've lost all control. We're coming in too steep!
SpongeBob: Is that bad?
Sandy: [unbuckles seatbelt] Only if you consider being consumed in a giant fireball “bad”.
SpongeBob: Well, in that case, I won't… giant fireball?! [unbuckles seatbelt, but hits wall]'' Sandy, where are you going?
Sandy: 'm going to take this bull by the horns! [La**os the nose of the rocket. Rocket begins to catch fire as it descends towards earth]
SpongeBob: Are we gonna get consumed in a giant fireball?
Sandy: Not if I can keep her nose up we aren't. Hang on! It's gonna get bumpy when we hit the atmosphere. [the rocket keeps falling at a faster rate. SpongeBob yells in terror] Yeehaw!
SpongeBob: [continues screaming] My goodness!
Sandy: Yeehaw! Yeehaw!!! [rockets crashes]
SpongeBob: Oh, oh my gosh! Sandy! Sandy, are you okay? [Sandy groans] Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry I ruined your vacation.
Sandy: Ruined? Oh heck no! That was the most fun I've had in a toad's age! Once I get my rocket fixed, you and me is heading to Mars. Now, let's go grab another one of them sheet cakes.
Both of them: [laugh]
Mr. Krabs: Who's ready for some excitement?
SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy and Pearl: We are! [Squidward is sitting idly by]
Mr. Krabs: Who is ready for some fun?
SpongeBob and Patrick: We are!
Mr. Krabs: Who's ready to look at some vacation pictures?
Patrick and Sandy: We...huh?
Mr. Krabs: (Cuts of lights and turns on slideshow and turns it to a picture of a dollar) I'm sure you know this charming fellow! (Changes slide to him catching money) Here's the one that almost got away! (Changes slide to a pile of money) Look at these pile towers of golden green! (Changes slide to the Krusty Krab) Here's how the whole thing started! (Cues flashback)
Squidward: That will be $6.75 please (Takes money from the customer)
Mr. Krabs: (On a loud speaker) Attention! Attention all employees of the Krusty Krab! Report admittedly to the main office!
Squidward: (Walks off)
Customer: Hey! What about my change?!?
SpongeBob: (Appears from the door to Mr. Krabs' office) You called Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: That's right. You better have a seat laddy. Gentlemen! I have an announcement to make. As of tomorrow, I'm closing the Krusty Krab.
Squidward: Hollyluya!!! (Charges out the door)
SpongeBob: (In shock gasping)
Mr. Krabs: Relax boy! I'm just going on vacation for a few days. (Moves next to SpongeBob who is still in shock) Yesiree laddy! I think the old Krusty Krab can afford a few days in dried up while I take little Pearl to a long, overdue vacation. And I was kinda hoping, that you come along with us, SpongeBob. (echo many times) Come along with us, SpongeBob. Come along with us... (deleted scene) Now, tell me about (Blah blah blah with SpongeBob thinks)
SpongeBob:(thinking) Mr. Krabs was right, He's taken on to Vacation, What did I do Wrong? (syndicated/standalone version)
Mr. Krabs: For an announmel fee of course. So, what do think boy?
SpongeBob: (Smiles brightly)
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? (Starts shaking SpongeBob) SpongeBob!?
SpongeBob: (His eyes who are now like Magic 8 Balls show "Yes" and "Please") Yes! Please!
Mr. Krabs: Great! We'll have some fun! (Laughs and SpongeBob falls over)
(Bubble transition to Mr. Krabs' house)
Mr. Krabs: Pearl my dear! Are you all packed and ready to go?
Pearl: You bet your bottom dollar!
Mr. Krabs: ME BOTTOM DOLLAR?!? Why I never do that!
Pearl: It's just an expression daddy. I just mean I'm really excited! (Walks outside with Mr. Krabs and spots SpongeBob) Gasp!
SpongeBob: La la la la la la la la la!
Pearl: Daddy! One of your employees is in the back seat!
SpongeBob: (Singing) Going on vacation with Mr. Krabs! Going on vacation with his daughter Pearl! Going on vacation with the whole Krabs clan! La la la la la la! I'm a vaaacation man! (Stops singing and spots Mr. Krabs and Pearl) Hey travel buddies!
Pearl: Daddy! I thought this was supposed to be OUR family vacation!?
Mr. Krabs: Eh... It still is! SpongeBob's...like a son to me! Plus he'll pay a top dollar to tag along.
SpongeBob: (Notices Pearl walks closer to Mr. Krabs' boat) Hi Pearl! Looks like you and I get to spend some quality time together!
Pearl: You know, SpongeBob. We got an old family tradition of having our guests ride on the floor with the luggage until we leave town! (Throws her suitcase at SpongeBob knocking him to the floor)
SpongeBob: (Raises arm up which is bent) I will happily honor this family tradition.
Mr. Krabs: See? You two are already having fun together! (Laughs and drives off and past SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick's houses)
Squidward: (Laying on a chair) And there they go! Two whole days of no work and no SpongeBob! This is almost too go to be true! Nothing can possible go wrong!
Patrick: (Appears behind Squidward) Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
SpongeBob: Ow!
Mr. Krabs: Did you hear something?
Pearl: Just the sound of this vacation dying!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, cheer up pumpkin puss! We're almost there!
SpongeBob: (Raises arm) Um, is time to come up yet?
Pearl: Sure, why not? Join the funeral. SUPER MEGA MALL WORLD?!? Is that where we going?
Mr. Krabs: Noooo! No. The place we are going is much better! (Drives past Super Mega Mall World)
SpongeBob: Um, Mr. Krabs? Think we could make a bathroom stop?
Mr. Krabs: But we are making such great time! Try to hold it a little longer lad!
Pearl: Holly molly! We're going to Planet Rollercoaster! (Mr. Krabs drives past it) But, daddy!? W-why aren't we stopping!?
Mr. Krabs: (Laughs) The place we are going is 100 times better than that old amusement park!
SpongeBob: Is it Bathroom Land? 'Cause I could really use a bathroom right now!
Mr. Krabs: (Laughs) Bathroom Land! Oh SpongeBob! You k** me!
Pearl: Yeah! He's a real chuckle factory (Laughs sarcastically)
Mr. Krabs: (Contiunes driving) Ok, kids! We're just about there! Just over that hill, is the greatest sight in the sea! Now close your eyes for a big surprise!
Pearl: (Closes eyes and crosses fingers) Teenage Boy Museum! Teenage Boy Museum!
SpongeBob: (Closes eyes and crosses legs) Bathroom! Bathroom!
Mr. Krabs: (Stops driving) Ok! We're here! You can open your eyes now!
Pearl: (She and SpongeBob open there eyes) YAY!!! The Teenage Boy Museum! (A wrecking ball suddenly knocks down the Teenage Boy Museum) It was right there!
Mr. Krabs: Oh...that's ok honey. We weren't going there anyway. THAT'S where we're going!
Pearl: Gasp!
Mr. Krabs: It's the Bikini Bottom Mint! Where they make all of the money! Have you ever seen anything so beautiful in all of your life?
Pearl: There is NO way I'm going in there! I rather sit in through the rubble of the Teenage Boy Museum! (Goes over to what is left of the Teenage Boy Museum)
Mr. Krabs: Well laddy! Looks like it's just you and me! And of course, the Mint! (Hearts in eyes fly off)
(Bubble transition to inside the Bikini Bottom Mint)
Mr. Krabs: Is this the most exciting day in you life?
SpongeBob: Not really.
Bill: Thank you all for coming to the Bikini Bottom Mint. My name is Bill (Points to name tag)
SpongeBob: Bill?!? (Laughs)
Bill: And yes...I am aware of the hilarious irony between my name and my job. Now, I'll be your tour guide for today. This tour will take you through the entire money process.
Mr. Krabs: You hear that boy? (Eyes in SpongeBob's face) The entire money making...process!!!
SpongeBob: Yeah I...(Takes Mr. Krabs' eyes off face)...sure did sir!
Bill: (Leading the crowd) This just to your right is the first part of the dollar making process. (Shows the crowd people behind the gla** window operating a pressing machine) Where very special sheets of paper are prep for...
Mr. Krabs: Guah guah guah guah guah! (Starts licking the gla** window)
SpongeBob: Uh, Mr. Krabs? Everyone is starting at us. (Shakes Mr. Krabs) Sir, get ahold of yourself! It's just paper!
Mr. Krabs: Just paper?!? That's like saying the ocean is just water! Or, or the Krabby Patties is just a...a...a sandwich!
Bill: Ahem...
Mr. Krabs: Oh! (Dusts off SpongeBob) Uh...uh...
Bill: (Walks the crowd to a new area) And in this area here to my left we see the process in which the sheets of silver are pressed into...(The machine then pounds the silver sheet into coins)...shiny blank coins which are collected in back of one million pieces for the coining press.
Mr. Krabs: Wuh wuh wuh...o-o-one million shiny pieces of...(His eyes start to inflate) silver coins?!? (His eyes explode with the pieces flying)
Bill: They call...(Gets hit in the face by Mr. Krabs' eye piece and the rest hit the other tourists)
SpongeBob: Uh oh! I thought this might happen! (Takes out a box that says "Replacement Eyes" and screws the eyes into Mr. Krabs and turns him on)
Mr. Krabs: Thanks SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Anytime sir! Oh! The tour's leaving without us! (Points to Bill and the others moving forward)
Bill: (Talking with the tourists)
SpongeBob: We better catch up with them before we miss something, right Mr. Krabs? (Notices Mr. Krabs is gone and looks over) Gasp! (Sees Mr. Krabs on the conveyor belt getting ready to be crushed by the machine) MR. KRABS!!!
Mr. Krabs: He he he he!
SpongeBob: (Pushes Mr. Krabs out of the way but gets crushed instead turning into many coins) I'm not sure how I feel about this sudden change! (Laughs) Good one huh Mr. Krabs? AHHH!!! (Reforms back together) Watch out Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: (Holding a coin and moving down the conveyor belt) Hello! My name is Eugene! What's yours? (A machine with a needle makes the face on one coin and moves up towards it) Do you believe in love at first sight?
SpongeBob: (Swings by and saves Mr. Krabs) Phew...that was close.
Mr. Krabs: I'd say! I almost had that quarter's phone number!
Bill: Now this machine here is where we destroy old money by means of shredding.
Mr. Krabs: Pretty neat huh boy? That's where they...(Claw pops and his whole arm deflates)...DESTROY MONEY?!? NOOO!!!! (Charges to the shedder looking at the shredded money) NOOO!!! WHY!?! WHY?!? (Starts crying a fountain)
SpongeBob: (Puts buckets on both sides of Mr. Krabs) It's ok sir. I'm sure I...
Mr. Krabs: (Arms and nose pop off as he contiunes to cry from all ends starting to flood the Mint)
SpongeBob: Wah oh! (Feet turn into propellors and swims toward Mr. Krabs turning a knob on him whichs stops him from crying then s**s up all of the tears and tries to spit them out the window but goes through the wall instead.
Pearl: Huh? Ah! An autograph-(The tears that SpongeBob shot out go through the head of the picture she picked up) NOOO!!!! (Both Cry Together)
SpongeBob: (Finishes spitting)
Mr. Krabs: (Rocking on the ground speaking in gibberish)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! It's ok! (Picks up Mr. Krabs) The shredded money is recycled and turned into brand, new money! See? (Shows Mr. Krabs the new dollars being made)
Mr. Krabs: It's a miracle!
SpongeBob: Yay!!!
Bill: (Angry) That is it! I have had enough of your nonsense! GUARDS! Show these two good-for-nothing toddlers out! Right now-oh my...(Notices the guards tied up and two robbers stealing the money. His fin deflates and then hides behind the crowd) Angry, thiefing criminals aren't part of this tour. Take whatever you want!
Skinny Robber: Take care of them!
Muscular Robber: No problem boss! (Growls and moves toward the crowd)
Mr. Krabs: (Jumps in) Oh no you don't! You filthy dollar wrestler! (Throws SpongeBob at the Muscular Robber which has no effect)
SpongeBob: That didn't work at all! (Falls to the ground)
Muscular Robber: Grrrr....
Mr. Krabs: Grrrr....YAHHH!!!! (Charges at the Muscular Robber and knocks him into the Skinny Robber. Then uses SpongeBob to tie them up then tosses them through the ceiling and into a police car)
Policeman: That was easy...
Policewoman: Yep, sure was...
Mr. Krabs: Good work boy!
SpongeBob: You too sir!
Bill: (He along with the crowd claps for the two) Clearly I misjudged you. You are both brave citizens and for that, oh behalf of the Mint, I would like to present you both (Takes out two dollars) brand new, extremely fine, limited edition, limited brand dollar bills with your faces on them.
SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Oooooo....
Bill: (Gives them their dollars)
SpongeBob: Wow! It's-
Mr. Krabs: (Takes it) Mine! I haven't charged you yet for tagging along on me vacation!
Pearl: (Takes both of them) And I haven't charged YOU yet for taking me on this terrible vacation! (Turns to a lady holding a box) Here's the two dollars I was short on those shoes. I must've maxed out daddy's credit card! (Laughs and takes the box full of shoes) Yay! Shoes!
Mr. Krabs: (Starts to cry) Shoes...
SpongeBob: Uh oh...(Puts on rain clothes)
Mr. Krabs: (Bursts out crying)
(The episode ends with the Bikini Bottom Mint spraying out Mr. Krabs' tears)