Spongebob is in Jellyfish Fields. A jellyfish floats by SpongeBob. SpongeBob comes from behind a bush and stares at the jellyfish with a telescope. Cuts to his view with the telescope
SPONGEBOB: Wow, four stingers.
Puts away the telescope and puts on his gla**es. Cuts to the jellyfish, where SpongeBob floats over it with his net. Cut to the jellyfish alone, where SpongeBob's foot stretches out from off-screen and then the rest of his body appears. He attempts to grab the jellyfish in his net, but he catches himself in the net, then the jellyfish flies away. In the background, a land squirrel is struggling. SpongeBob looks down a cliff and sees the land creature trying to fight a giant clam attempting. SpongeBob gasps
SPONGEBOB: Where have I seen this before?
Takes out his "Field Guide" book and skims through the pages] Here it is! [Cut to picture of a squirrel
SPONGEBOB: Land squirrel.
He closes the book
SPONGEBOB: That little squirrel is in trouble.
Cuts to the squirrel, who is pushing the clam into the ground
SANDY: Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners!
She walks away
SANDY: You're about as ugly as homemade soup.
SPONGEBOB: Hooray, land squirrel!
cuts back to the land squirrel, who is oblivious to the clam resurfacing and jumping right at her. Cuts to SpongeBob, who is shock, his gla**es shoot up
SPONGEBOB: Look out!
scene cuts to the clam with the land squirrel trying to escape the clam
SPONGEBOB: Hold on, little squirrel!
He does a karate yell in front of the clam, then does the same while bouncing to different sides. He jumps high in the air, and lands on top of the clam; he poses on top of the giant clam
SPONGEBOB: You have fought well, giant clam. Prepare to be vanquished! Hai!
tries to pry open the clam; he stops
SPONGEBOB: Hey, I'm actually doing it.
SpongeBob continues, the land squirrel finishes prying the clam open from inside it and SpongeBob goes flying into a sea plant
SPONGEBOB: Your shell is mine!
SpongeBob pulls up his pants and starts to charge at the clam. He jumps into the clam's mouth and starts to strangle its tongue. SpongeBob sees that the land squirrel has already escaped and the clam swallows him now.
SANDY: Hold on there, little square dude!
She then gets SpongeBob out and kicks the clam around some more and finally kicks it across the sea. The clam whimpers. Sandy leans down to see if SpongeBob is okay
SPONGEBOB: Hey, you like karate too!
SpongeBob does some karate poses, then he stops and falls flat on his head
SPONGEBOB: So, uhh, what's your name?
SANDY: Sandy! So what do y'all call yourself?
[Spongebob runs up a big rock]
SPONGEBOB: I'm SpongeBob!
jumps down, SpongeBob soon lands on one of his corners
SANDY: Well SpongeBob, take a gander at this!
She walks next to a huge rock and slaps it with her hand, making a gong sound effect which precedes the rock breaking into pieces
SPONGEBOB: Oh. Oh yeah? Watch this!
He prepares to do a karate move, but all he does it make an armpit fart noise. Sandy walks on screen laughing
SANDY: I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah!
SPONGEBOB: Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! Ow. Say, what is that thing on your head?
SANDY: Why, that's my air helmet.
SPONGEBOB: May I try it on?
SANDY: Heck, no. I need it to breath! I gotta have my air.
SPONGEBOB: Me too! I love air! Air is good.
SANDY: No kidding?
SPONGEBOB: Why, "air" is my middle name! The more air, the better! Can't get enough of that air.
SANDY: Shee-oot. How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then?
shows a map leading to Sandy's house
SANDY: Don't be late!
SPONGEBOB: Okay, see you tomorrow.
runs to Patrick's house, he is sun tanning on his rock
SPONGEBOB: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air?
PATRICK: Huh?
SPONGEBOB: I just met this girl! She wears a hat full of... air!
PATRICK: Do you mean she puts on "airs"?
SPONGEBOB: I guess so.
PATRICK: Thats just fancy talk. If you want to be fancy, hold your pinky up like this! The higher you hold it, the fancier you are!
Spongebob holds his pinky up
SPONGEBOB: How's that?
PATRICK: Higher!
SPONGEBOB: Like that?
PATRICK: Now that's fancy! They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants!
cuts to Sandy's treedome
PATRICK: Remember: When in doubt, pinky up! You can do it, SpongeBob. I'll be watching.
SPONGEBOB: Thanks pal.
rings the doorbell with a bouquet in his hand
SANDY: Hello?
SPONGEBOB: Hi-ya, Sandy. Its me, SpongeBob!
SANDY: Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.
Sandy whistles then all the water goes down the drain. SpongeBob bangs on the door
SPONGEBOB: Sandy! Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy!
Sandy opens the door and SpongeBob jiggles on the ground
SPONGEBOB: Sandy, somethings gone terribly wrong. There's no water in...here.
SANDY: Course there's no water. Nutin but air.
waves his hand around and smells the air
SPONGEBOB: No water?
SANDY: That ain't a problem, is it? Hi-yah!
SPONGEBOB: Problem? laughing Hi-yah! That's how I like my air!
SpongeBob gasps, coughs and gets black circles around his eyes
SPONGEBOB: With no water.
SANDY: cartwheeling Well, all right. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! Hi-yah!
SpongeBob is walking an inch forward and it makes weak squeaking sounds with every step
SANDY: That's not in. In!
SpongeBob walks another inch and there is more squeaking. Sandy runs, getsn SpongeBob, takes his hand, and runs off
SANDY: You're a funny little dude. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour.
fades to the blazing sun and pan down where Sandy and SpongeBob are standing
SANDY: This is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest... SpongeBob gasps] ...purest... [SpongeBob gasps again ...most airiest air in the whole sea. Oh, over there's my birdbath.
Cuts to the birdbath, where a red robin is splashing and chirping
SANDY: And that's my oak tree.
SpongeBob seems enticed by the water in the birdbath. He tries to sneak away, but stays until Sandy lets her guard down
SANDY: It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane, that's a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bees knees? Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither. First, I...
SpongeBob finally escapes and wallows in the birdbath, absorbing all the water. He then jumps back to his original spot, and the bird is quite angry. SpongeBob gets back before Sandy notices
SANDY: ...that's my treadmill. That's how I stay in tip-top shape. Well, come on. Lets have that tea now.
Does in-air karate moves and moves off-screen. SpongeBob gasps. He hears some knocking from outside. It's Patrick, pointing at his pinky
PATRICK: Pinky! Pinky!
SpongeBob weakly holds up his pinky and gasps again. Fade to him sitting at a picnic bench. He now has little wrinkles around his eyes and his mouth is all puckered up. He holds up his bouquet
SPONGEBOB: I brought you some flowers.
Sandy walks over
SANDY: For me? How sweet!
Sandy grabs the flowers, but SpongeBob refuses to let go. She finally pries them loose and part of SpongeBobs pinky falls off. He fists his hand
SANDY: You OK?
the black circles around his eyes are gone. His voice is hoarse
SPONGEBOB: Yes, I'm OK.
SANDY: You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.
SPONGEBOB: I cant imagine why.
SANDY: Can I get you anything?
SPONGEBOB: Water would be nice.
SANDY: I'm gonna to put these in a vase.
SPONGEBOB: Take your time.
He then gasps and stumbles toward the door and struggles to open it
SPONGEBOB: thinking to himself I gotta get out of here! Aaaaahh!
SpongeBob has flashback of what Sandy said
SANDY: I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree!
SpongeBob struggles even more
SpongeBob has flashback of what Patrick said
PATRICK: When in doubt, pinky up.
Spongebob lifts his pinky. He then gets confidence and victorious music plays
SPONGEBOB: I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it, I don't need it...
he then sits down, loses confidence again and the music stops
SANDY: Why, these flowers are just beautiful! [sniffs] They'll last much, much longer in a vase full of ice, cold water.
puts the vase down. SpongeBob is totally enticed by the water. Sandy sits down across from him
SANDY: So tell me about yourself.
Sandy puts her hands under head head
SANDY: It must be fascinating being a sea critter.
SpongeBob watches a drop of water drop down the side of the gla**
SANDY: SpongeBob?
a timer goes off
SANDY: Oh, there's the cookies.
walks back into the tree
SANDY: Be right back.
SPONGEBOB: thinking I don't need it, I don't need it, I definitely don't need it.
close-up of SpongeBob's face. He's really shriveled now
SPONGEBOB: thinking I don't need it.
close-up of vase, then another one of SpongeBob's face
SPONGEBOB: thinking I don't need it.
close-up of vase
SPONGEBOB: thinking I don't need it.
close-up of SpongeBob's face
SPONGEBOB: thinking I don't need it. talking I NEED IT!!!
He shoots up in the air, bounces off the ceiling and holds the vase
PATRICK: No, SpongeBob! No, no, no, stop! Pinky! Pinky!
SpongeBob guzzling down the whole vase of water
SPONGEBOB: I'm a quitter! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
screams and runs around. Patrick enters into the dome and slams the door shut
PATRICK: You can't leave now! You'll blow it!
SpongeBob hanging on the door
SPONGEBOB: Air is not good, Patrick! Air is not good!
Patrick pries SpongeBob off the door and carries him around
PATRICK: You're just being shy. Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine.
Patrick starts getting weak
PATRICK: I wont let you blow...this.
drops SpongeBob and crawls on the floor, panting. He coughs and sputters, then stands up
PATRICK: WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!
runs toward the door and tries to open it
PATRICK: There's no water in here!
Sponge Bob joins in on the door-opening struggle
SPONGEBOB: I tried to tell you!
PATRICK: We've got to get out of here!
SPONGEBOB: You're..doing it...wrong...
PATRICK: Wait, no! We've got.. to get... out...
fades to the sun. Sandy walks out of the tree with tea and cookies
SANDY: Come and get it! Y'all gonna like this...
she screams and drops her tray. In the gra** is a live-action sponge and starfish. Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick leaning against a ladder with two goldfish helmets on. Sandy, on top of the ladder, uses a hose to fill these helmets with water
SANDY: There, that ought to do it! If y'all needed water, you shoulda asked.
Sandy carries over a tray with three tea gla**es. Everyone takes one
SANDY: I propose a toast, to new friends!
She drinks it. SpongeBob and Patrick lift their drinks up and they clink the gla**es on the helmets, causing them to spill
SANDY: Hold on a second.
She places a tea bag in each helmet, allowing the two to drink the tea water
SANDY: I hope you like your tea strong. Drink up!
Patrick nudges SpongeBob and they both put their pinky up. They sip the tea
ALL: Ahhh!