Well I'm the man with the scam And though I've never sewn a stitch I've stumbled onto something Guaranteed to make me rich All I gotta do is fool one imperial nitwit You'll never not see clothes Like you won't see those Every inch of stitchin' missin' From your hat to your hose And if one of those hose Happens to have a hole in it It's not as if anybody's Gonna notice when it's The Emperor's Clothes Are fine You'll never see nothing finer Nothin' like those So right That you'll never see the like, the like Well I just got into town I took a quick look around I heard you needed a suit Opportunity found 'Cos I'm the man that you need I'm gonna make you some tweeds I'm gonna make 'em so they're Magical, beautiful, that's irrefutable now Well only Philistines Could look upon these things From the Teddy Bear pajamas To the nipple rings And not agree with me This is a suit like no other
They're gonna gape and gawk They're gonna stammer and stare 'Cos the fabric's so fine It's like it's not even there You're gonna give 'em a thrill They're never gonna get over If I make it through this I'm gonna be in clover The Emperor's Clothes Are right! You'll never see nothing righter So overexposed So right That you'll never see the light, the light Well today's the day I'm gonna make my play I'm takin' my creation to the center stage And I might lose a little Or I just might win big You got the heads of the SLA, the NRA The Sendero Luminosa, and the CIA At least one of every other kind of Hot shot and bigwig They're all comin' down They're gonna meet at the shindig In The Emperor's Clothes All right! You'll never see nothing finer Nothin' like those So fine That you'll never see the like Of The Emperor's Clothes All right! That you'll never see the like, the like