The bittersweet bickering
Getting old fast
Aging a second past what was
Running away from my problems
Always my thing
Walked away
Hoping for them to staple their lips
Closed my door
Locked it tight
Turned off all the lights
Staring at everything that's not there
Felt good being invisible
While I blasted the lights and sounds
To drown out the things I hate
Never seems to work
Knife never seems to care
This captain does its duty
Does what it's told
And I wish thats the way everyone was
But it'll always just be you
And my knife
Always carving 4 sticks into my skin
And I suppose
Your better than nothing
And I could bear the rest of my life with you
I don't wanna say your name
Not a sound
You can't
You won't be heard
Not on my watch
The one I threw away for you
These are the things my heart covers up
You will not know that this song
This song is you
As long as no initials squeeze in
Like 4 sticks is a hard one
You'll be up all night on this one
I've been up all night on this one
Trying to be so inconspicuous
As long as those letters of yours never show their faces
That they don't have
I'll be just fine
And you won't feel any different...
Than a second past what was
I try to confuse you with this
So you can't read between the lines
I can't
I won't give it all away
I don't know if you're even worth it anymore
It's something I'm working on
And I'm working overtime
I tried so hard
To blame it on my parents
But my...
My shell cracks so easy
And you know it
You always know how well I hold up
The amount of pills I'm supposed to take
And where the right fill line is
And just because I know you know
Every little thing about me
I know you know
This song's about you
You know who you are
And maybe by the last line
I won't say
Who you really are
But maybe
The last line will be scribbled anyway
I wonder if you'll be able to tell
By such a bad ending
Whether something's missing or not
But at least it's safe to say
You'll never know for sure
And that's good for me
But not for you
Why do I now care
I can't say what just happened to me
Let's just say a phone call had to do something with it
A phone call made the call
To write this song
I'm sorry that I never knew what I had
I'm sorry that you have to remind me
I'm sorry that you'll never know how much you glow
How much you light up a room
And if I'm the only one who sees the light
That's good enough for me
I'm ok with never looking at another persons face
It might not even be there
Maybe it never was
But sweetheart, it's fine
I forgot what a parent was
And if I never remember
By self experience
Sweetheart, it's fine
I threw out that old knife stained red
That you hated so much
Cause you knew it would k** me
It would k** us
And that wasn't fair to you
I'd never be ok with that
It'll be ok if we never exchange rings
As long as we exchange heat when it's cold
As long as you hold on to me when drifting away in a crowd
As long as I always cry when I write a line for you
As long as you don't mind if I die for you...
There's so many conditions
That I need from you
Conditions I don't want to be a problem
Conditions like never needing a circle of metal on our fingers
When things are as perfect as they are
And they stay that way
Until I die for you
I swear that's how I'll go out
It's not fair for you to live without me
But that's somethin you gotta get used to
I've already sworn on my life
On the life that is already sworn to die
Just for you
I don't know who else it'd be
Cause no one else exists
I wonder what happened to the population
But I don't ponder too much on it
Just remember
That I will jump if need be
If it's an order
Or a rescue
I'm always ready for my heart to stop
Just for you
It's not fair to you
But sweetheart, I promise...it'll be fine