Performed by Borris Noris (The King), Pamela Stonebrook (The Queen), Kirk Scott (Lord Chamberlain)
The King:
In all my years as king of this land, I've led an unusual life
I've run into many a beast in which, not the least of which is my wife
But now a young maiden has come along and she's made my spirit rise
With a rare and wondrous talent that lies betwixt her thighs
Oooh, a snapper!
Want to trap her!
Although I'm rather envious, I also brim with pride
That lucky son-of-a-b**h has found a snapper for his bride
The Queen:
It's always a rare occasion when the king takes me to bed
Once we're there, I find he's soft, not only in the head
But now he swells about what dwells within this maiden's lap
The only thing he'll get from her is a common case of clap!
Oh, that snapper!
Want to slap her!
If I should catch her with the king, I'll tear her limb from limb
And if the prince is fortunate, I'll save a piece for him!
Lord Chamberlain:
The royal family's in a state that's best described as shock
The prince is running through the halls behaving like a schmuck
The king is fleeing from the queen, not anxious to be crowned
The mystery wench departed and she's nowhere to be found
Oh, that snapper!
We'll kidnap her!
The prince must now conduct a search through hovels, homes and huts
In order to retrieve the la** who sheathed his royal putz
Everyone:
Oh, that snapper!
We'll kidnap her!
The prince will now conduct a search through hovels, homes and huts
In order to retrieve the la** who sheathed his royal putz