Performed by Brett Smiley (The Prince)
There was a time when my scepter would climb
Whene'r a sweet la** came my way
If the damsel was built, the tilt of my kilt
Was a bold invitation to play
But now the thrill's faded, his highness is jaded
I'm rather a sad, royal bloke
Girls plead for the chance to fondle my lance
And I just fall asleep in mid-stroke
With many of them, I have tried S&M
But I get no kick from the pain
And though you may think I'm not one for a kink
I once made it with a Great Dane
I can't raise a bulge in my tunic
Per chance I'm becoming a eunuch
Or am I headed straight for the day
When I'm blissfully happy and gay?
I've known more delights than King Arthur has knights
My s** life is legend to some
But I've lost my touch and I dread it very much
The day when my kingdom won't come
Kingdom won't come
My kingdom won't come
Can't get my kingdom to come