What do you guys think of one of my first "verses"/"ideas"?
I'm a 19 y/o make (white) and have had a pa**ion for music for as long as I can remember. Just recently I came to the realization that I would like to pursue rap as a career simply because I love everything about it. I've been reading so much on rhyme schemes, internals, Multis, flow, delivery etc and I can't get enough of it. This was one of my first "verses" that I wrote before I really learned more, and was curious what you guys thought of it as a beginner. Please be critical, I highly value constructive criticism as I wish nothing more than to increase my sk**
Times change and tables turn
Focused on the game so I let my bridges burn
Shoutout to my haters I hope you b**hes burn
I lit this track on fire and said burn b**h burn
That's as hot as - leather seats in Cali summer
I like my girls bad wit a lil bit of color
She a dime I swear I ain't a liar
I spoil her wit - whatever she wants, and open doors wherever she goes
Ballin all my life so I'm ballin with the pros
Rappin so hot that I'm rappin via prose
Gimme the Rari in pitch black I 'pose
And let me glide through the night
Left hand on the steerin wheel right hand on her thigh
Chiefin an L as we drinkin Sprite
Drop top cruisin through the city known as the city of lights
Dinner at the Iron Lady way up in the air
I fine dine wit my lady then put her legs in the air
When you this high up anyone can hear
Funny how at the top, haters ain't near
Haters ain't near here even remotely
Girl you talkin listen to me closely
When I say I'll do somethin, I do it
When she ask me how I got here I crew it
When she finally come 'round, you know I knew it
When she finally cummin now, you know I do it
That's just how my life be
Straight A stoner I don't f** with no B's
Back then I was a wanna-be now n***as wanna be me
Cuz 'fore I thought of rappin, I thought of a degree