[Verse 1: Jake Ewald]
There is a time in your life when smile becomes smirk
And there is but one boy left who can digest your quirks
Now don't talk about yourself cause it's never gonna work
He's already got you figured out earlier
(He was lurking on the internet
Why else would he have not left yet)
He's gathered all of the data and pa**ed it through is pasta strainer brain
Stare at the simple machine in front of you and act entertained
He is what's left once the best you can do dipped early
Clearing this dismal vignette for more-
Space to drink the dude away
Who only came for the candy tray
It's Halloween in hell
But it sure looks likes dad's garage
[Verse 2: Jake Ewald]
She is the reason you're here
So quit acting like you can't see-
Her staring at you
And stop eating all the candy
(The essence of a god damned toddler
Sitting there picking at crumbs like a grave robber)
You know what she likes
So why don't you ask her now
Conversation premeditation is still allowed
Worse comes to worse
She screams "no!" and slaps you around
Take a peak at your watch and get your eyes off the ground
It's way too late for this
And Andy needs a ride home
He's standing at the back door
Dancing circles around his cell phone
Stand up straight
Walk her way
Say hello
[Outro: Jake Ewald]
This ain't so bad now darling
It's nice to meet you here
We've got a lot in common
I'd like to keep you near (x2)