[Verse 1]
Is it a white or a blue Christmas? childhood wishes
Holiday china sink climbing a pile of dishes
See this rhymer thinks in couplets so delicious
Like cranberry sauce tossed with tempo to be nutritious
And it's lonely this year literally zero cheer
Like the chimney flue is blocked no silhouetted moon reindeer
Up on the rooftop nothing but the silence
Of the new fallen snow and the groan of my own defiance
I stole the presents and the tree opened just for me
Broke into the grotto, burglarized nativity
The drummer boy played his song I can't sing
Can't bring a single thing or even sentiment to give a king
You think it's metaphor or poetry to say it
It's not I screwed up in my life and I can't save it
In excelsies deo I whisper pray it
Like the Gloria on high and my heart masqueraded
[Hook]
Gloria in Excelsis Deo
[Verse 2]
I got a convict tree ornaments of scandal
All athletes in controversy they couldn't handle
Hallmark steroids and bountygate dreams
Sugar plumbs dancing or dog fighting schemes
What says grace at Christmas more than teams
Professional superstars finally turned fiend
Underneath each of us something different than we seemed
Housekeeping our personas is a full time thing
So when they hit their women or five year old child
Or have a dozen mistresses scattered across the countryside
It's not some kind of behavioral anomaly
Something their kind does and you don't solemnly
My boss swears I need a lobotomy
Full scale inspection into the bottom of me
The condition of man the ribbon on the damned
Package below the lights down to the last strand
By the slight of my fast hand I pillaged whoville
The village around the tree is something that only you fill
[Hook]
[Bridge] x2
Joy to the world boys and girls I want to mean it
Go tell in on the mountain I want to scream it
We three kings bearing gifts I want to bring it
I'm hoping for a silent night and manger bed to dream in
[Hook]