[Verse 1: Showboat Blastoff]
Last take and then I gotta go to my podiatrist appointment
Am I a bu*tface ?
My wallets got a dimmer switch
And everything I touch just turns to mold
Now, I've been a scrapbooking jacka**, since the age of 13
Haircut absurd, Police arrested my barber and took away his scissors
Even though it was none of their business
Master of camouflage, But still practice the lizard
Cutting up sheetrock, To build prop heat rock
Cover my bikini zone when my family's home
What a drag! I zipped myself into a hockey bag
My modified zipper broke, don't throw me over the side of the boat
Luckily I brought my plan B mental preparations
Tiny cherries on a tiny sword just in case I get bored
I dress for success, I have a personal seamstress
No I don't, I grab my overcoat and punch myself in the throat
Then I laugh and punch myself
And laugh and realize that the man in the mirror is paralyzed with fear
But if your hungry you can
Feast your eyes, on my plate of chimichurri fries!
Translation I eat foods that make think I'm on vacation
There's actual fingers in my Fingerless sandwiches
I'm advancing to Hollywood, regardless what Simon Says
If trimming bushes with barbarian scissors, dressed like a lizard
Usually means that your dying alone
Then please explain that to my cohorts at their summer chalet living lavish on the outskirts of Rome
[Hook: Showboat Blastoff]
Lift the tusk
Sniff the musk
It's the supermax, maxout
Watch me throw my back out
Excuse me while I toss this keg of concrete in the air
Lift the tusk
Sniff the musk
It's the supermax, maxout
Watch me throw my back out
Excuse me while I ride this refrigerator down the stairs...
Give me a minute, ooh give me a minute
[Verse 2: Showboat Blastoff]
I teleport late to work without a sound
Cousin Larrys paying YOU a visit
Fresh case of shampoo, short on sham, full of poo
2 bu*ts, full of cla**
Expert at double dutch
Visit Cambridge
Accessorize with sash
If you want to see my crumbs
Xerox your cheeks, sit in a catapult and launch yourself at Nordstroms
I got myself a wire brush and a strobe
A Hillbilly tub on a dance floor, who could ask for more
Testing PH?
Just grab the litmus
Anything else isn't worth your health nahmean? Ditch the nitrazine
Tattoo a tear on my face for Mr. Belvedere
Call him Brocktoon, Christopher Michael Hewett past too soon
Well words can't describe
How much I wish I had a treasure map
Id be like Indiana if he had an Asian grandma
Now what I'm gonna do with theses archaeology tools?
It's a couple slide rules an electron microscope and a bunch of brushes
People want to know hows business
But Im washing dishes everytime that I go out to eat, lift up the toilet seat
I crashed my car through the bank and asked dude for a loan
They ran a credit check and sent me home
That's the second time this week that approach didn't work
I had a 780, dude is just a jerk
[Hook: Showboat Blastoff]
Lift the tusk
Sniff the musk
It's the supermax, maxout
Watch me throw my back out
Excuse me while I toss this keg of concrete in the air
Lift the tusk
Sniff the musk
Supermax, maxout
Watch me throw my back out
Excuse me while I ride this refridgerator down the stairs...
Super maxout, filming from my dashmount
In my birthday suit, collecting change in my toll booth
Fanning out my tens in front of a wide angle lens
This is how I conduct my business
Super max out, super super max out
Super max out, I just threw my back out
Please plug in my heating pad