John Adams:
(All right, gentlemen, let's get on with it. Which of us will write our Declaration of Independence?)
Benjamin Franklin:
Mr. Adams, I say you should write it
To your legal mind and brilliance we defer
John Adams:
Is that so?
Well, if I'm the one to do it
They'll run their quill pens through it
I'm obnoxious and disliked, you know that, sir
Benjamin Franklin:
(Yes, I know.)
John Adams:
But I say you should write it, Franklin
Yes, you
Benjamin Franklin:
Hell, no!
John Adams:
Yes, you, Dr. Franklin
You!
Benjamin Franklin:
But-
John Adams:
You!
Benjamin Franklin:
But-
John Adams:
You!
Benjamin Franklin:
But...
Mr. Adams, but Mr. Adams
The things I write are only light extemporania
I won't put politics on paper, it's a mania!
So I refuse to use the pen in Pennsylvania
Glee Club:
Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania
Refuse to use the pen!
John Adams:
Mr. Sherman, I say you should write it
You are never controversial, as it were
Roger Sherman:
(That is true.)
John Adams:
Whereas if I'm the one to do it
They'll run their quill pens through it
I'm obnoxious and disliked
You know that, sir
Roger Sherman:
(Yes, I do.)
John Adams:
Then I say you should write it, Roger
Yes, you
Roger Sherman:
Good heavens, no!
John Adams:
Yes you, Roger Sherman
You!
Roger Sherman:
But-
John Adams:
You!
Roger Sherman:
But-
John Adams:
You!
Roger Sherman:
But...
Mr. Adams, but Mr. Adams
I cannot write with any style or proper etiquette
I don't know a participle from a predicate!
I am just a simple cobbler from Connecticut
Glee Club:
Connecticut, Connecticut
A simple cobbler, he!
John Adams:
Mr. Livingston, maybe you should write it
You have many friends and you're a diplomat
Benjamin Franklin:
(Oh, that word!)
John Adams:
Whereas if I'm the one to do it
They'll run their quill pens through it
Glee Club:
He's obnoxious and disliked
Did you know that?
Robert Livingston:
(I hadn't heard.)
John Adams:
So I say you should write it, Robert
Yes, you!
Robert Livingston:
(Not me, Johnny.)
John Adams:
Yes, you, Robert Livingston
You!
Robert Livingston:
But-
John Adams:
You!
Robert Livingston:
But-
John Adams:
You!
Robert Livingston:
But...
Mr. Adams, dear Mr. Adams
I've been presented with a new son by the noble stork
So I am going to celebrate and pop the cork
With all the Livingstons together back in old New York
Glee Club:
New York, New York
Livingston's going to pop a cork!
John Adams:
(Well, Mr. Jefferson?)
Thomas Jefferson:
Mr. Adams, leave me alone!
John Adams:
(Mr. Jefferson!)
Thomas Jefferson:
(Mr. Adams, I have not seen my wife for the past six months. I beg of you, Mr. Adams-)
John Adams:
("And we solemnly declare that we will preserve our liberties being with one mind resolve to die free men rather than to live slaves." Thomas Jefferson, on the Necessity of Taking Up Arms, 1775. Magnificent. You write ten times better than any man in Congress. Including me. For a man of only thirty-three years, you have a happy talent of composition and a remarkable felicity of expression. Now, then, sir. Will you a patriot or a lover?)
Thomas Jefferson:
(A lover.)
John Adams:
No!
Thomas Jefferson:
But, I burn, Mr. A!
John Adams:
So do I, Mr. J!
Thomas Jefferson:
(You?)
Roger Sherman:
(You do?)
Benjamin Franklin:
(John!)
Robert Livingston:
(Who'd have thought it?)
John Adams:
Mr. Jefferson
Dear Mr. Jefferson
I'm only forty-one
I still have my virility
And I can romp through Cupid's grove with great agility
But life is more than s**ual combustibility!
Glee Club:
Bustibility!
Bustibility!
Combustabil-
John Adams:
(QUIET!)
Thomas Jefferson:
Mr. Adams
Damn you, Mr. Adams!
You're obnoxious and disliked
That cannot be denied
Once again you stand between me
And my lovely bride
Glee Club:
Lovely bride!
Thomas Jefferson:
Oh, Mr. Adams
You are driving me
To homicide!
Glee Club:
Homicide!
Homicide!
We may see murder yet!