Oh, if you read in the papers that she's been seen
A gettin' in an' out of some millionaire's long, custom made limousine
She may fool you with her smiles, but I can see
That's just a poor hopeless hapless helpless pathetic way of gettin' over me
So you were down at Joe's on the night she broke her zipper
And some lame brain drank champagne out of her slipper
And she danced on the piano and she screamed hurray I'm free
That's just her poor hopeless hapless helpless pathetic way of gettin' over me
Oh she'll do anything she can just to make me jealous
Of course forgettin' me is gonna take her lots of years
So I call her now and then just out of pitty; when she laughs at me
That's just her way of bravely holding back her tears
What's that you say she got married oh the poor little fool
To some handsome movie star with a mansion and a swimming pool
And she's looking good and she's got a kid or two or three
That's just her poor hopeless hapless helpless pathetic way of gettin' over me