[Chorus]
I always had a heavy heart
I always had a rough start
I always had a ride or die
But I never tried to take the time
To tell them that I love 'em so
Even when they're walking out the door
If I just told 'em how I really felt
I wouldn't have a heavy soul
[Verse 1]
Back in high school, I used to get bullied for my shoes
They said I wasn't straight enough to dress how you usually do
I was so insecure, I had to make sure my wrists were covered, too
And when I looked in the mirror, I saw my crookеd teeth
I always questioned, "Why would someonе want a girl that look like me?"
I had no ass, no titties to bounce 'em up and down
And when I walked down the halls, I wish I never was found
But I know I had control
I just never know how to take control
I bottled up inside until it took a toll on relationships
I know that it was wrong
I had people that were there, pretended that they cared
But a part of me still wants the love we used to share
Even if they're not here
Even if I'm not there
[Chorus]
I always had a heavy heart
I always had a rough start
I always had a ride or die
But I never tried to take the time
To tell them that I love 'em so
Even when they're walking out the door
If I just told 'em how I really felt
I wouldn't have a heavy soul
[Verse 2]
And all the anger I used to bottle up inside
I take it out on others, it happened all the time
A victim and abuser inside my state of mind
Everyone had to know I wasn't feeling right
My mama's anger, brother's hatred
Lover's stares, strangers' judgements
Made me feel like I was alone
Made me feel like I was alone
But I know I own all my problems, control
No one's fault but my own
I need to learn, let go
Maybe I'll find some peace awake
Or in my sleep
I just want to be free
I just want to be free
[Chorus]
I always had a heavy heart
I always had a rough start
I always had a ride or die
But I never tried to take the time
To tell them that I love 'em so
Even when they're walking out the door
If I just told 'em how I really felt
I wouldn't have a heavy soul