Plastic dolls in plastic bags
Macho dil*os buying shags
When the coppers they appear
In the market you can hear
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Spunky cardboard magazines
You can see it in his jeans
Is it soft or is it hard
It's been seen in Scotland Yard
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor p**no, Doctor p**no
Fruity stories veggie looks
I thought I'd read it all in books
Here comes Sally she's a tenner
Lay some plates and we'll have dinner
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor p**no, Doctor p**no
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor p**no, Doctor p**no
You want something that will make you horny
Well have a look at this while I speak to Tony
I've got what you want but it's in the van
I know you're a naughty man
Mandy, Margeret, French and sags
You don't get this on teletext
Naked women naked men
Take one daily and come again
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor p**no, Doctor p**no
Some come in cos they've been told
It's all kosher bought and sold
Yes I think this ones for you
You don't want one you need two
Tell me Doctor can I buy it
Tell me Doctor can you supply it
Tell me are you getting it
Tell me are you having it
Doctor p**no, Doctor p**no
You want something that will make you horny
Well have a look at this while I speak to Tony
I've got one for you but it's in the van
I know you're a naughty man